When the prevention is worse than the potential injury

We have lovely neighbors. We don't see them that much because the proximity to our houses and driveways doesn't promote that. But they have always been considerate and friendly when we have and have been fine neighbors.

Last month part of one of there trees came down in a major wind storm and nicked our roof. This is part of a row of pines about 30 years old that divide the property and provide some major screening and privacy but they are on their side of the boundary line. The fallen tree certainly wasn't there fault and they were responsive in checking with there insurance and even attempting to clear some of it up by themselves. In the end we contracted with someone to cleanup just what fell and left it up to the neighbor if they wanted to take the rest of the tree down. It didn't matter to us and we had the work done.

We thought it was done until we came home one day to find 2 of the trees gone and the next day all of the 5 trees on a hill next too our house were gone and the bushes and under brush damaged or destroyed in the tree felling process.

While I understand, hearing from the tree guy, that they wanted to make sure it never happened again and it was totally within their right in also making sure they didn't fall on their house, we suddenly have no shade on that part of the house and have totally lost the separation and enormous privacy that the trees provided.

This is before



Below is an "after" picture. The clear area is about 30 feet across and the top of this hill had a row of 5 thick 30 year old pines. Where there was dense shade there is harsh sun. The tree to the right is actually half of a maple tree that was cut off at 15 feet high by the fallen tree and has no branches on one entire side.



Feeling like we have been kicked in the gut by a good deed that also was not cheap. Though the trees are totally lost, I am our there staking up the remnants of bushes to reclaim some amount of what we lost and have a major job cleaning up the cutting debris and we are scrambling to figure out what would grow 15 feet quickly, which is unrealistic stating in mid summer and I have to work to prevent erosion of the hill.

So to me this is an example of the prevention being worse than the potential. The trees were basically healthy with perhaps the need for trimming to prevent them from collecting too much wind in a storm. The roof damage we incurred and taking out the damaged tree will end up costing us (or our insurance) less that a thousand. The work and cost to regain some of what we have lost will probably be well beyond that.

4th of July weekend

The 4th of July weekend. The official beginning of the tourist season in the Berkshires, the weekend of multiple James Taylor concerts at Tanglewood , the out of town drivers who just continue to drive through intersections even though there are stop signs that are rimmed with flashing red lights, the tourists that think that downtown is like an open mall and that wandering aimlessly into and across the street without looking isn't a smart thing to do. The locals are pretty much attuned to this and we joke about having to watch out for for the tourists who do these things and then some of them yell at you when you call them on it.

As I came home from work Friday, the traffic on the highway heading toward the Berkshires was heavier, but it was also faster and much more aggressive. A sign that city drivers are on their way. Watching them continue their jockeying once off the exit, is irritating. The 2 lane road leading thousands to Tanglewood only goes so fast and unless they knew my route cutting through the back streets, they'd be in Lenox a while after I would be already home, regardless of their aggressiveness.

But the tourists are a tremendous blessing. Both my kids can hold down 2 summer jobs that are totally dependent on the waves of people coming in and out, spending what I would consider exorbitant amounts, but then I spend more more on vacation than I would at home, as well. I also don't want to come across as negative about all the visitors. Perhaps I should define them into "visitors" and "tourists". "Visitors" slip into the area respectfully and enjoy themselves and contribute to the economy and to the vitality of the area and are just nice people, something that we aspire to when we travel. Whereas "tourists" come in and wonder why this area isn't more like what they left behind and want to let their presence be known, can be rude and basically clueless and want to be catered to. The "visitors" are always welcome, the "tourists" are welcome for what they contribute economically.

I was reading that Tanglewood would draw 18,000 people at just one of the Taylor concerts, 3 times the town population. On my side of Lenox, you'd never know that this crowd was 2 miles away as the noise doesn't really carry and as a local, you know where and when not to go certain places. Yesterday I was scraping and painting the house and today will be digging up the septic tank cover for pumping next week. Quite a contrast from picnicking on the lawns of Tanglewood or strolling through the shops in town. But as we all know, regular life goes on behind the scenes of where others vacation.

Tomorrow is the big 4th of July parade in Pittsfield. A big event with floats and big balloon characters and preceded by the big 5k race, that draws over a thousand runners. Of course I'll be one of them and this year be joined by one of my kids.

Happening just before the parade and including a leg the goes up and back the parade route, running with thousands of spectators is quite different from my solitary runs along the back roads. I remember 3 years ago my goal was to finish this 3.2 mile race and not be dead last, tailed by the ambulance bringing up the end. Back then I finished well before the last runner and I logged 75 road miles last month and easily finished several 5 mile runs with hills this week and in good time. So the race tomorrow is more for fun and to try to beat my previous times.

It's starting to cloud up. Not a good sign, though supposedly there are only intermittent showers predicted. Sometimes that becomes intermittent periods when it isn't raining but I'll hope for the lessor amounts of rain. Being a little mercenary, outside diners are the source of good tips for my kids, so I don't like anything to discourage them.

Well, happy 4th of July weekend. Enjoy where ever you may be.

Is it rude or impolite or perhaps just clueless?

Yesterday afternoon I took the kayak out on the river. A beautiful afternoon with bright sun and a little bit of a breeze. A new dock has been added replacing the more tentative wood pallets floating on the mud banks and make entrances and exits a little less awkward. Or should I say,at least the entrances are.

It was remarkably busy on the river. Tourists, I imagined. Some of the rental places and high end resorts will truck people in with trailers of kayaks and return in a couple of hours. I don't mind that as I have been one of the out of towners on the Cape or elsewhere and there are enough branches of the river that go unnoticed to the occassional visitor.

Coming back, on schedule to meet the family for a fathers day dinner, there is a back up at the dock. From the appearance of one person standing on the dock, dripping, I knew that at least one kayak had tipped. At least it was at the end, not at the beginning, as I once did. On the dock was this younger guy trying to drag the kayak up onto the dock, with much verbal drama and with each dip adding more water to the inside and to the weight. The other kayaks are all over the dock, blocking me from getting out or getting on my way and blocking everyone for that matter. Waiting patiently as this guy, easily 30 years younger than I, seemed helpless in trying to figure out how to get it out of the water and was verbally clear that he resented the situation he was in helping his wet companions.

Having enough of his rants and wanting to get on with it and get my stuff out, I step out of my boat, knee deep in the mud, hoisted myself up the dock, grabbed on to his kayak, pulled it on the dock, turn it over and dumped out most of the water and moved it aside. Still somewhat perplexed, the guy is told to dump it over again to get the rest of the water out so that it can be brought to the truck. Meanwhile I have to manuver around them to keep my kayak from drifting away. They are now set and the truck is here to pick up their kayak and I can now move mine out of the way and out.

So, if someone helped you out in this way after you'd been struggling, would you say anything? I know I would, even if it were a simple thanks. But not a word. They went on their way chatting and the guy complaining.

Some tourists give others a bad name, they are absolutely clueless.

officially a runner

I have been running for about 3 years and for that long written about my workouts and running, but for some reason when people ask if I am a runner, I will often qualify it as yes I run, but not too much. In reality I logged about 450 miles last year and have so far logged 150 miles and over 60 miles just last month, but when I ran I would run a mile or so, then walk a small bit then run again. No matter how much I seemed to try, I always needed to walk for a bit. They were still good workouts but didn't seem serious and in the category of a real runner.

I have friends and relatives who are very serious and good at this and run great distances, that I at this point only dream of. though they have invited me to come along sometimes on the shorter excursions , I have always been intimidated because I wasn't a straight out runner.

The past month or so, I decided I needed to kick up my gain. Having burned off some winter pounds, my weight again had plateaued. Little by little I adjusted my pace and kept pushing a little more distance before the walking. I also started keeping my head down when I approached a hill, getting a little further up.

The past two weeks I have been making good progress, first hitting 2 miles, then three and last week four miles, before I needed to walk. Then a couple days off this week, one for rest and one because I didn't feel great, and today I headed out to see what I could do and ran continuously for 8 miles and an hour and a quarter. Stopping at the top of my street, where I usually start my cool downs. And yes I am able to walk still and don't hurt a bit and look forward to another good run tomorrow.

I reached a milestone not just in miles but in my mind. I now consider myself a runner because I know I can do it and can perhaps do more. It may take a while before I am ready for the half marathon, but knowing now that I can do a good distance straight on and handle some good hills, makes this goal much more real.

There are time when my wife will say that she wishes she lived in a condo or apartment so that when something goes wrong, you just pick up the phone and it is then their problem to fix. Romanticizing of course, but anyone who is a homeowner knows that there are times when it is not for the weak of heart.

We seem to be on a roll. The carpenter ants are back (or did they never leave) consuming huge amounts of time and mental energy for me to figure out how to tackle this rash and finally I called in pros, who told me they'd do just about what I am doing, except that they could fog the inside of the walls in the effected area.

So that is on the project list as is getting in a carpenter to do repairs and the gutter people back to diver more rain away from the house.

The weather too has been fierce. Last week it was the tornadoes in the area, this week it has been storm after storm of high winds and rain.




Last night's storm knocked out power in a wide area and left debris all over the night before we were readying to head for the basement, it was so heavy. An then there was the big bump in the night, which was this neighbor's tree hitting our house and taking a bite out of the roof. The rain and wind kept going so that I couldn't check out the damage from the outside until morning. I was able to assess from the attic that it hadn't gone through.






So at 6AM I am up on the roof patching this hole for the oncoming rains and winds. It looks like it held during last night. Now comes the negotiation with the neighbors and the repair people and insurance. Yeah I know I am whining, but I have to get it out somewhe

The past couple of work days have been dominated by planning and strategizing around the tornado damage. I work for a multi-program organization and one of the program sites is gone, another has a huge tree on top of it and another has moderate damage, mostly blown out windows, but neighborhood that it is in is one of those making the national news as looking like a bomb went off and where a mom sacrificed her life to save her child.

Fortunately most of my hundreds plus co-workers are fine, inconvenienced by lack of electricity but at least a couple people lost their homes and several had their cars destroyed or had major damage.

Working in this planning environment becomes very methodical and practical, such as retrieving the mail that can't be delivered or securing computers, and also the creative involving how to house people in multiple work places near where they need to be and how to compensate people who couldn't come to work and what can we as co-workers do to help those displaced and how to help staff with kids in schools that will not reopen. The latter group is the caring factor that makes this where I like to work. As far as "output" it hasn't been the most productive of weeks, but I feel exhausted and have been busy. Its come after a few weeks of doing several things that are emotionally depleting.

But I am by no means complaining and have little tolerance for the few that are whining because their electricity if off. They after all still have a house and a home and car when there are so many very close by that have lost lives and homes and so much.

Western Massachusetts like many other parts of the country rarely makes the big news. But yesterday as I am in my office about a mile away a tornado strikes. I had been looking out from my second floor office noticing the oddly yellow sky and the wisps of clouds that were coming down from the main clouds. I'd heard of tornado warnings and as I looked at this I was thinking, where is the safest place in this building. Then someone came in and I had to turn my attention in another direction and the sky just grayed. The below video is what was happening where I was looking.





As I was leaving work and driving west to the Berkshires (which was gratefully untouched) I had noticed that the storm was traveling east but not knowing that it was a tornado moving east.

This morning was surreal. People with stories about damage they had. Co-workers who had roofs lifted off their houses or barns that just disappeared. Several programs and clinics could even be accessed to determine the damage because the surrounding neighborhood were so damaged. At a meeting I heard the story of someone in her office watching the storm approach and noticing all the debris and the windows in her office blowing in and the window blinds ripping from the ceiling and her hiding under her desk. Total small towns wiped out as the tornado plows through.

The damage will take years to repair and rebuild and I am more than a little spooked.

This is not something expected here, yet it happened.

Seems like I've taken a hiatus from blogging when I look at how long ago I did the last post. This past week and a half I have had a volunteer or end of the year school commitment most nights. At lunch, when I actually stop to take a concentrated time, the time seems to be consumed with the prep work for everything else happening after work. Plus the rain and rain and did I mention rain. I have been trying to increase my running miles to improve my times and get off this weight plateau that I have been hovering around for months. I have this window of time between when I get up and have to be back to the house for wake up duty and to start the shower sequence. Starting at 5AM or a little before, I have to allow myself enough time to wake up myself with the early coffee. That window of running time at most can allow for a 4 mile run but more often that time seems to tighter and I am lucky to get in 3 miles. The rain doesn't help though last week I was out there most mornings rain or not for 3-4 miles. This morning the rain was heavy but I was determined, having taken yesterday off to rest a twinge in the foot, and though it was a little slow but I got in 3.3 miles tightly squeezing through this window.

My cell phone is fading. Fading in the sense that I have a hard time hearing people. First thinking that it's the coverage and then that I know my hearing has taken a dip in one ear and now I'm thinking its going in both, until my teen borrowed it and said Dad, what's up with your phone you can't hear anything. It has reached the stage where speaker phone or head set is about the only way it works, which limits my options. I have had it for a few years years and it is a few levels above basic, but it does the job. Cell phone service is one of those things I won't pay for gadget functionality (I have other places I can get that), so I am looking for a replacement that fit my limited plan before it totally dies.

Because my phone is on the simple side, I find that uploading mobile photos a real pain. Of course it came with no cables, so taking a photo requires uploading it to Facebook then downloading it to the laptop and uploading it again to the blog. Makes you weary just following that.

I had scheduled to take a day off a couple of Tuesdays ago to be in Boston for a performance that my eldest was to be in. The show was to start at 8:00pm and run 2 1/5 hours, so we figured we'd make a full day of it and accept that it would be pretty late when we got back home. But then another performance time opened up on the weekend and since we'd be driving back in the wee hours of the morning and then going to work the next day, we jumped at the new time. (the show was fantastic BTW)

But then what about Tuesday. I could go to work, there is always a reason to go to work. But I'd already rearranged meetings and no one was expecting me and since I already loose enough unused leave time, I was just quiet about the change and took it off.

So we decided to play tourist for the day and drive up into some areas we hadn't been to in years and just wander the roads.

Massachusetts is an interesting state in that at one end is Provincetown, at the tip of Cape Cod and definitely at sea level and at the opposite corner borders the mountains of Vermont and New York. A little factoid is that Massachusetts really doesn't have any mountains. The area I live in, the Berkshires, are the foothills of the Taconic range and Green mountains of Vermont. The word foothills sound somewhat lame and leaves an impression that they are much smaller than they really are. Some of the hills up north can look like mountains, such as Mount Greylock, the highest point in the state, but even it doesn't meet the "definition" of a mountain. No question, we are at a higher elevation and as you drive north towards Williamstown and North Adams the hills get steeper and rougher. The roads wind up the sides of the foot hills and there is a section called the hairpin turn which The photo at the top is a miserable representation of the view at the northern most part of my state looking across to Vermont.


The cell phone photo doesn't do it justice as this is from the top looking off to Vermont and multiple valleys and ridges.

On our day trip we wandered along the northern highway stopping in Shelburne Falls for lunch and checking out the Bridge of Flowers and the Glacial Potholes and off to the small town of Greenfield. Amazed as always how things had changed since the days I'd lived there 30 years ago. It was much more rustic, less built up (and by city standards it isn't built up that much now) A good use of a day off.

So, where did they go?

I posted 2 comment replies and had a couple of draft posts and this morning they were all gone. The gremlins are at it again!

I was talking with someone I work with who had an in-law that was possibly at the end of his life. Hospitalized, with things failing, the responsibility of what actions and how aggressive the measures would be fell with this person's spouse. Listening closely to what was being said I was vividly reminded of similar discussions I sat in on with my extended family just weeks before. I had done some research on the possible measures that might have had to be taken and was able to share that same information again for the benefit of someone else.

How many times have we been able to share experiences with someone going through rough and sometimes unusual stretches.

Having experience with brain injuries and what it is like to have someone close in an ICU and then go through rehab; then years later be able to capture the essence and feeling of the experience to comfort and support someone else. Long periods of time maneuvering hospitals with family members or for work and again years later being asked to visit people who need spiritual support because of that comfort level. Lying in an MRI in absolute physical agony and ready to pass out from the pain and being able to share my recovery experience with a colleague in similar pain and worrying about his own recovery. While our experiences are different, he knows how physically active I am and that this is also a potential outcome. Having been professionally "downsized" years ago, but able to recall in a split second, the pain and fear of that long job search I also know the optimism I felt when someone offered me a lead. So when I heard of a friend having to now do a search, I went looking for some leads I could share and mentioned it to colleague for theirs as well.

I know when I hear of the experiences of others I often take something away from it. The outlook, the determination, the options. I also become a sponge for the details of practices and options and have the ability to recall them later.

Of course it is how we share those experience and which we share and which we keep private and which would be unkind to share. Sometimes knowing less about an process or outcome, especially when there is nothing that can be done, is the kind way to do.

So, as I was thinking about the people I have come in contact with the past few weeks, working with end of life, physical recoveries, someone looking for work, someone who has lost a family member or friend- I am so reminded that we are in this life together; to be guides and well as to be guided; to teach as well as to learn; to comfort as well as to be comforted.

......and this again makes me optimistic about people.

I have written often about a certain running route that I have that runs along fields and the ridge line. It's a 3 or 4 mile loop depending on how far I go out and much of it is not someone's front yard. I have often thought I needed to bring a bag sometime to pick up the trash that has been tossed by the side of the road and in the woods, but I usually remember this when I am already running.

A friend posted on facebook last week that she was doing clean up for earth week and a facebook friend commented yesterday on trash she had seen on the road and this morning I was not going to work and it is Earth Day.



So as it was 37, but sunny, this morning at 7 AM I had my trash bag and work gloves and bright orange jersey and headed out for a run. I figured I'd sprint between trash and still get a workout.

What I quickly discovered after the first half mile was that I was sprinting much shorter distances and bounding in and out of the brush. By mile one my bag was near full and it was getting heavy and the added weight definitely adding to the workout. By mile 2 the bag was stuffed and I was thinking I have to make decisions about what more I could squeeze in before it starts to rip. Then I spotted some plastic and true enough it was a big plastic bag that someone tossed. Now crusted in ice and under leaves, with a little effort it was now available.

On I went, hopping down to the stream to pick up beer cans or tug out a disposable (not) diaper. Both bags were getting filled and heavy and I was running much less and sweating much more. Cars were going by but no one else was out.

As I got to within a half mile of home a guy in a trash truck even pulled along side and offered to take one bag off my hands but I politely declined. If I was going through this effort, I wanted to sort it out and recycle as much as I could.

So, as I neared home I actually had to leave some trash behind, both bags were filled and close to bursting and I still had a major hill to make it up.

After an hour an a half I was done, three times my normal running time but I figure I added much more of a workout in the brush and running with bags and I was beat. I must admit, I must have been a curious sight for cars going by.

In the end I am guessing there is about 30 pounds here. I have hauled so many 40 pound bags of pellets I know the feel. Half of it is recyclable and about 20 cans are returnable.

Later this afternoon as we drove the same route, I had to admire the clean that will probably be unnoticed by most but not by me as I run the route many times again.

Happy Earth day.

Last weekend, as so much else was happening, was my annual marathon volunteering at a weekend high school drama event. It is tedious, exhausting and I get to a point where I just shrug and my mantra becomes "the drama belongs on on the stage". I avoid the "drama mavens" (rarely the actors) that seem to take themselves way too serious for a volunteer high school event, but it is worthwhile and for the kids and while I have no kids involved in it this year, I consider it payback for those who did what I am doing, when my kids were first involved.

I think I could plot my annual colds on my running log based on the block of diminished mileage and entries that are usually about March or April of each year. It is very rare that it is more than once and the usual pattern is 1 1/2 weeks down. If ai push the recovery, then it's a full 2 weeks. Thinking that I will over come this annual dip in physical and mental motivation, I have yet to be triumphant. There have multiple unusual event that have been weighing in and these have seemed to zap both the time and motivation.

As I am well again and as things seemed to have resolved themselves in way that they do, this week I am back to easing in running. It is frustrating how quickly fitness deteriates as age advances, oh well. Last week the temperature was up to the 60s, I was home from work early, dinner was running late, a perfect opportunity for a short run. The breeze was mild and light soft, the sound of the peepers on the swampy wetlands was deafening. I don't mind winter, but this weather is so sweet. This morning and out early, the wind was brisk but warm enough for just a long sleeve shirt and it periodically died down to keep it from being tedious. The crocuses are up up, the daffodils are up on the south sides and tulips making there way up through the soil. Coming back a few miles out the wind shifts and the rain comes and for anyone who runs a bit, the feeling of a warm rain too cool you down as you return home can be glorious.

I got a mailing on a 5k coming up in a couple of weeks, my mind says possibly, my body not so sure.....though as I got a chance to run on an indoor track last night I could relatively fire off a couple of miles, even having done 4 miles in the morning and a bit of circuit training, so maybe.


Spring alway arrives a little later in the Berkshires than it does out of the hills. This yer it actually seems like it will be a spring and not just winter into summer.

It was 8 years ago this spring when both my parents died within a couple of months of each other. I remember feeling numb for a good amount of time afterward. Going to work, doing what I needed to do and "doing life" but feeling like I was going through the motions. The paperwork and shared responsibility for the dismantling of the remains of two lives served as a distraction, but there was still a hole.


This week the last of the parents, and for my kids- grandparents, died. That hole that I thought had healed and covered over, showed how tentative and thin that cover was and that numbness that had become so familiar, has returned. I was fortunate in that my "in-laws" were good people and not too dissimilar to my own parents, whom I also liked as people and not just parents. It makes the ending all the more difficult.

Every time I watch this it makes me smile. My kids chose to go to a regional high school in a neighboring town, rather than the high school down the street from where we live. The local schools have an excellent academic reputation and are definitely much closer, but the neighboring school offered more diversity and options and was a better fit with my kids. Fortunately in Massachusetts you can "choice" into another district and your town pays the tuition.

Among the many things I love about this school is the spirit and creativity and how this is nurtured and promoted by the students teachers and administrators, in addition to academic excellence. I have seen this in so many areas and the following video is one of them.

I know of few schools that can involve a third of the student body in a project including the principal and vice principal and many teachers, yet Monument does it again and again.

"This is the Lip Dub that Monument Mountain Regional High School filmed in December 2010. Around 200 students showed school spirit and amazing talent. This is Robert Adler's independent study project. It took him just under 3 months to produce and make it what it became"

Down for the count.....or at least half a count

I use an average of one sick day a year plus maybe a few hours when I just throw in the towel and go home. Today was the "one". I don't count the hour I left work early yesterday because I was there early. Sneezing, coughing cobwebs in the mind. The "cold" has been officially passed
on from my wife to me.

So today I lay on the couch surfing (channel and web) and snoozing on and off with an occasional check in of email. While I called out, I was too lazy to do the mechanical message and auto-replies that I do for a vacation. So for some people who get an email response from me, they think I must be in meetings.

While I moderately feel like crap, I also stayed out so as not to contaminate others. But I am also feeling bored, which means I am actually feeling better and will most likely go in tomorrow and will leave if I sink in the pit. Bored doesn't translate automatically to energized or motivated, so after I finish this post of what seems to be random, I'll probably curl up with an afghan and maybe not snooze but rest. One of the unusual signs of this episode is that while weary I am not tired.

There are predictions of another snow storm on Friday of 6 inches. Enough already, winter go away. I went out for a bit today for some air and it was sunny but cold. We have just about used up the 4 1/2 tons of pellets that we started the winter with so given the pace of what is coming Friday and beyond, I'll be loading up the car with 40 pound bags this weekend. It seems hard to comprehend that from October to now I have moved 9,000 pounds of bags at least once into the house and probably half of those from the yard to the garage. 13,000 pounds. I guess that is how ants do it, one piece at a time.

The emails are all working again along with 5 apologies from the email provider to match my 5 tech tickets.

So that is the not so exciting blog update from this far western corner of Massachusetts and after I sign up the youngest for an SAT prep course, I think I will grab the afghan.

Wind

This morning the sun was bright and I was up early and looking at how sweet it looked out there. After sipping my third cup of coffee and exhausting the online newspapers and seeing my neighbor take off for a run it was enough of a boost to the urge to go for a nice long run in the sun. My schedule has been crazy all week with full days of training where they feed you lunches that are heavier than what I would make for my self. Plus there was not time for any kind of exercise, so I was feeling heavy from the imbalance. All good reasons to get out.

So squinting a little to check out the temperature, which said about 35, I added an extra layer top and bottom, grabbed the gloves and a hat and bounded out the door. Hey, I'd been running when it was 25 and snowing and had a great time. Plus 35 with full sun can feel almost like spring. Yah!

Getting to the street and heading up the hill out of the neighborhood it hit me. CRAP!! there is no way in hell it is 35 out here. While the sun was bright the wind was whipping and cutting through the layers and biting my face. Rounding the corner and heading in a direction I knew there were trees and houses and hoping that perhaps that will be a block.

I get to the corner and start to cruise up a another hill and a blast of wind literally stops me in my tracks. These freakin trees won't give any cover, there are no leaves and the woods behind the houses channel the wind to the street.

Not fun but determined still, I hit the mile and a half mark and another hill and another blast of wind and that's it. Had I worn my winter-wear of thick layers and tight then it would have been different, but now the body heat building up was just keeping it tolerable, but not enough to fend off the wind. Plus while I am ok with the cold, a cold wind is just not pleasant by any stretch. Flipping around I head back, settling for 3 three mile unpleasant run when I was pushing for 6-7 in in the sun. Not sure which was more disappointing, the distance or the cold.........nah no question, the cold.

So back home and warming up I take another look at that thermometer but this time I put on the glasses. 15 degrees - add a wind and it explains it all.

I have had enough of winter.

The last few days have been a techie hell. I have five email accounts plus the one for work and had problems with all of them this week. My ipod, which can retieve mail from all of them, also decided not to work with any of them and one account is sending responses back saying "user doesn't exist".

So, you ask, why the hell so many emails accounts? Actually I have more than that but those are dormant. I use email accounts to sort out the different parts of my life. This blog has it's own, there is the order online one, then there is the home one, and then there is the every day one and the spare. And there is the one that ties in some of my volunteer work.

For some this is too much technology and too much confusion but my ipod can handle at least a half dozen and I can fling the emails back and forth between accounts and send attachments to my Ipod that I can read in meetings in the office and out. It's great until they all go fluey. Usually it is only one at a time and having all of them go haywire is a painful aboration.

It seems like when each of the mail systems goes through an upgrade to "improve reliabiliy and service" it ends up with service being knocked off or interupted and at least for a time, becoming totally unreliable-thus the reason I have the spare. Now it is the spare that has completely stopped working and is sending evil "non-exist " messages and guesss what, it just got a major upgrade and product enhancement....Not.

I have always thought that technology can be wonderful or totally suck. There are times when I would like the option of picking up the phone or doing an online chat rather than file a "ticket" and get the auto response, though at least that is better than hearing nothing at all. So I have filed multiple support tickets, deleted all the accounts off my IPOD and reinstalled them only to have 200 previouly read and filed emails come back through as unread and I openned up a new spare to the spare account, because when I don't hear anything I have doubts about whether I'll ever get the full use back. I'm a glutton with a short attention span.

And then there are the techy problems at work that fortunately there are techs to support but getting them to make things a priority can be a challenge. I feel a twinge of guilt when I rank my problem higher than someone elses and get more immediate attention but I rarely do it so my credibility in that area is fairly high.

I know the full moon has long past but perhaps there is some other phenomenom that is happening that is causing this techy hell. If so I look forward to the normal hum of consistent data coming in without a fight.

Winter, at least around here, is subsiding and the signs of spring becoming more evident. Me running outside with only one layer and no fleece, though still needing the gloves, is one sign.

These geese heading north are another. I recall so vividly being in the same spot in the fall and the gaggles were heading the opposite direction as they left the marshy refuge nearby.


This stack of pellets was 4 across in October, over 4 tons. There are probably 15-20 bags here and another 4-5 still in the garage. Hopefully we will get through to the warmer weather without having to get some more. When we reach this point in the season I am ready for an end in the routine of hauling in 40 pound bags from the pile, especially when its 11:30at night and I am already sleepy and notice the supply won't make it through the night. Fortunately I have someone home from college this week who I hope to recruit to move the rest of this pile inside.

With all the pallets empty comes that yearly event that seems to appeal more to men than women, burning day. The dried out Christmas tree under a pallet or two makes for a roaring fire that is every amateur pyro's dream. A good opportunity of getting rid of additional brush being exposed with the melting snow and to burn off some weed patches in the yard.



This stream is always pretty along the side of the road. The red barn in the background, the highlights of the snow around the edges. The water flow is heavy with the drainage from multiple sources and the higher elevations behind and this stream winds its way down to the river below.


Patches of back yard start to reveal itself and this morning a large flock of robins descended to pick through what could be found in the grass. Seeing one or two is fairly normal even throughout the winter, but 25 seems more like a traveling flock on their way somewhere.

It will easily be another month before the daffodils are up and probably into early May before they bloom. There are some years when winter seem to go on and on, deminishing very gradually until we hit May and early summer appears.

Someone finally bought the $1.5 million farm house I wrote about in the fall. Over Christmas decorations started to appear and cars were parked by the mews (yes this is a 2 house property). I am thinking they are 2nd or third homeowners and definitely from the City as the big trees that they have tapped in the yard for sap are oaks. Opps!

Never underestimate the power of prayer. This isn't a post about religion or evangelizing but more about spirituality. You won't find me quoting scripture, not my thing and I don't make those connection. But I feel I am a deeply spiritual person and that comes though in much of my writing. I have seen the power of prayer in the past, on larger scale of healing to smaller incidents and I witnessed it again this week.

More than a few read into my post a few days ago that either something troubling might be going on or that perhaps I was over-analyzing life. Thank you for your concern and comments and good thoughts.

Something was not right and the potential implications monumental, and while I couldn't say what, I needed to write about it, to get it out to the cosmos.

This morning was the news that all is well, life can return to normal though with a renewed gratitude of life and of good health.

There are times when you just can't put what you are feeling into words, yet still publish those words. It's a struggle to sort fear from the reality, the relativeness of what is going on to the greater happenings, the feeling of helplessness and sorrow and dealing with uncertainty and supporting others through the same; the balancing of what is on your mind the most while living through the days. In this world of 24/7 we want instant answers, instant fixes, instant resolutions, happy endings.

A few weeks ago I put up a quote about looking too far out into the future: "Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road. " and from past experience, I know much of the truth in this. I just have to keep repeating it to remind me of that.

Can it be possible that there are more frost heaves out there at this late stage in winter than last year? I feel like the auto equivalent of a rodeo. Could it have been that warm spell that then turned back to bitter cold?

I thought last year was the pits. But then that is because the constant bouncing on the back roads not only successful demolished the springs and finished off the struts on my old car but then proceeded to destroy the new struts that had cost an obscene amount of money on a car that I wasn't planning on keeping more than 6 months more but had no choice but to replace them.

So as I only fill my morning mug half way because I know otherwise the contents will be in my lap by the end of the driveway I also hold my breath every time I do the bouncy bounce for miles on end hoping that this now also aging car won''t meet the same fate.

This too will pass and we'll be left with cracked pavement and a driveway that, if this keeps up will break up on its own without the help of equipment. Hopefully when we are ready to replace it and not before.

Ok......I am ready for spring.

So, it snowed several inches last night then this morning started to rain then it was back to snow then rain and it is predicted to return to snow later tonight. Will you make up your freakin mind.

Fortunately I got out there with the shovel just as it was turning to rain so I was able to clear our long driveway before it became heavy slush. With the weather being so unpredictable and my opportunity for running or skiing have been limited, I did some pre-workout warm-ups and headed out with the shovel rather than start up the plow. A pretty good 45 minute workout when I pushed the speed a bit and with another series of stretches, my back is fine.

The last day of vacation and actually much of what was reasonable on my big list was accomplished. Items like "clean out the basement" or "sort through the beer can collection (a holdover from the 70s)" didn't make it to the action step but then just looking at a basement can be enough to make you seek out the beer. It really not that bad, it's more that with a half dozen bikes over various sizes and conditions, skateboards and scooters and several pairs of skis and piles and cases of old record albums, figuring out what to do with them is the overwhelming part. More a warm weather project.

I am procrastinating working on a volunteer project tonight but will get to it after I post this. I've been working it for a while and its at a stage where I have to pass off a bit of it to someone else but need to write up explicit instructions on what the next step is. Too much thinking, but I'll do it to get it moving and also because I sense I'll be taking on another project next week.

So, if your eyes have been wandering down the page to the picture you may be wondering what is with this.



It's a picture in the fish department of a large Asian supermarket in Boston. There this past weekend to see my eldest in a college theatrical performance, this market is adjacent to a marketplace of food stalls serving various cuisines: Thai, Korean, Japanese, Indian, Chinese. Based in a pretty ethically diverse neighborhood, down the start from a major university the food was good and cheap. The market was fascinating and provided an opportunity to stock up on herbs and oils and sauces that are unbelievably cheap when compared with the basic Stop and Shop and the quantities are huge by comparison.

The fish in this tank looked interesting and my youngest wanted a picture taken with it, which is why it is cropped. But the water looked a little murky. The whole fish on ice looked more appealing but with a 2 hour drive home I was risking none of it.

Well as I look at the clock, that project needs to be done and it will probably take me much less time than procrastinating.

One thing about unstructured vacations is that they can be time eaters.

In an effort to not throw away vacation too much time that I have earned, that will "expire" next month, I schedule this week off from work.

I really don't have the time to take time off, which seems to be the problem with why I risk loosing what I have earned. But there reaches a state where the work effort seems to have diminishing returns. Working in a job that can jump between a sprint and a marathon in the same day.

On my "to-do" list last week was to "plan out vacation". There are a couple of family things but we will do but not everyone is on the same time off schedule. Of course as I left work Friday with that list at least fractured and final meetings and emails off directing some activities while i am gone so that I can incorporate that work when I return, my own planning somewhat fell off the list.

So, Sunday morning I develop my list. Three columns, a full page of not just tasks, but new projects, working on partially started projects and some planning as well.
I thrown running and skiing and perhaps a massage on the list for some fun and make me feel like vacation.

There is something to be said about idleness though it is not well accepted, always in a negative tone but sometimes I wonder if that is what is necessary. Like many people I have such a big "list" is because of the influence of work and commuting in taking both physical time and draining so much energy that it effect the efficiency of how other time is used. The list of things that need to be done gets so long and involved that just looking at it is enough to drain energy quicker than pulling the plug on a pool.

So, I am a couple days into vacation. A day in the city with family was fun then Sunday and Monday were those kind of unstructured days when there are specific chores and tasks that need to be done but in between time fritters away. The pellet stove got a needed full clean, and the drive and walk cleared of the snow and a movie and a few things off the list, but not much more.

It's 14 degrees outside. Uncomfortable for running or skiing, at lest for me. The snow is hard and icy and cold seems biting. Yesterday was just a little better but the motivation was not there to even try.

So I am re-looking at my list. It is a sure set up for disappointment by week end and I am thinking I need to toss it and start over. There aren't any unnecessary things on the list and if I worked just a bit more I could have made it a small several pages long, but what good would that do.

A friend emailed me a link to a site on zen moments that she thought I might be interested in. The lead paragraph, which she has no reason to know, described almost exactly the same serious incident that occurred in my life almost 20 years ago that changed many things in my life. I came through miraculously better than the writer, and where he has had to deal with the physical recovery, my struggle has been with the recovery of what is not externally evident to others or to most not even known or noticed. But it is there and I work with it every day. Through this process I have I learned that it is sometimes necessary for me to regroup, break things down to component pieces and try not to feel defeated in the process.

Why did I digress and add such a personal note, I don't know. But I'll leave it in for the moment.

As I look out over the backyard, the sun shining through the trees across the white snow. The rolling smoothness of white, the slumps of snow still on the shielded branches. No movement except the slight swaying of branches at the top. The shadows are fixed, the sky is blue.

I just opened up another internet explorer window and do a Google search on running in real cold weather. I think I need to try this, clear my head and then my list and week will have more clarity than it does now.

“Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road. “

I haven't updated my reading list in quite a while. I continue to rack up the audio-books and podcasts on my daily commute as well as the supply from the library but often just forget to add them here and right now I am just not in the mood.

My reading can be somewhat eclectic and I wonder sometimes what impressions it gives off. Not that I will change my choices based on someone's opinion but it also makes me think of my non- verbal responses and impression to what someone else is reading.

Over the summer I was re-reading the last Harry Potter book in anticipation of the movie coming out in the fall. I had it with me at the beach when I accompanied my son fishing and got this confused look from a guy my age who, while curious about what I was reading, but wasn't sure how to respond to what I was. It was more confused than anything and I found that fascinating.

I just finished up an autobiography by Benjamin Franklin and a hardcover book on the designs and building of bridges. I have a book of CS Lewis stories that I am going to start and a book on the Evangelism subculture in America and I am also listening to the Diana Chronicles (yes the royal one) in the car. Sprinkled with a couple of podcasts on the last emperor of Ethiopia and the Origin of Money, and several round it out. Surely the Diana book, by Tina Brown, is light and gives my mind a break and and the others take a little more brain power. Perhaps I am tarnishing my "Man Card" by some of these, as I expect was the case with the Harry Potter book, but I find the poltics and human dynamics facinating and with Harry Potter, its a well written story .

I guess I would continue to confuse some who observeand who have the time to peg people in categories.......but I am someone you'd want on your team in a trivia game.