I was talking with someone I work with who had an in-law that was possibly at the end of his life. Hospitalized, with things failing, the responsibility of what actions and how aggressive the measures would be fell with this person's spouse. Listening closely to what was being said I was vividly reminded of similar discussions I sat in on with my extended family just weeks before. I had done some research on the possible measures that might have had to be taken and was able to share that same information again for the benefit of someone else.
How many times have we been able to share experiences with someone going through rough and sometimes unusual stretches.
Having experience with brain injuries and what it is like to have someone close in an ICU and then go through rehab; then years later be able to capture the essence and feeling of the experience to comfort and support someone else. Long periods of time maneuvering hospitals with family members or for work and again years later being asked to visit people who need spiritual support because of that comfort level. Lying in an MRI in absolute physical agony and ready to pass out from the pain and being able to share my recovery experience with a colleague in similar pain and worrying about his own recovery. While our experiences are different, he knows how physically active I am and that this is also a potential outcome. Having been professionally "downsized" years ago, but able to recall in a split second, the pain and fear of that long job search I also know the optimism I felt when someone offered me a lead. So when I heard of a friend having to now do a search, I went looking for some leads I could share and mentioned it to colleague for theirs as well.
I know when I hear of the experiences of others I often take something away from it. The outlook, the determination, the options. I also become a sponge for the details of practices and options and have the ability to recall them later.
Of course it is how we share those experience and which we share and which we keep private and which would be unkind to share. Sometimes knowing less about an process or outcome, especially when there is nothing that can be done, is the kind way to do.
So, as I was thinking about the people I have come in contact with the past few weeks, working with end of life, physical recoveries, someone looking for work, someone who has lost a family member or friend- I am so reminded that we are in this life together; to be guides and well as to be guided; to teach as well as to learn; to comfort as well as to be comforted.
......and this again makes me optimistic about people.
2 comments:
Very nice and well said post. I worked in ICU for many years, watched and listened to my patients families. For the brain dead children who were in accidents, that I know would never ever recover ~ Having to listen to the parents and family tell me a miracle will happen because they are all praying to God for his help. How can you tell them that this time, it is out of God's hands? You don't. You just listen. And were there ever miracles you wonder? I can say, I can remember only 2, but there was hope, a single thread of life. Those are the ones you remember as miracles.
Helping one find a job is also rewarding if you can find that right job for someone who is so knowledgable and smart ~ in these times, more and more will be eliminated from their jobs. I'm glad you were able to help both sets of people. It's hard to see any of them in such misery. You must be a very compassionate person Jeff. It's nice to see that....debbie
Thanks Debbie.
As my spirituality has matured, my view of what is a miracle and what isn't just coincidence, has changed.
Miracles in a true physical sense are as rare as the odds but as you have pointed out 2, I am aware of a few occasions where the odds were completely beat.
IMO there are other miracles that may be a combination of coincidences or may not. It doesn't matter to me which it is. Hope, against all, in itself can be a miracle.
That someone with your ability and compassion was there to listen, and at the moment someone needed or wanted to talk, is miracle.
A couple of weeks ago I was visiting a person with severe dementia. It was not an easy visit if one required structure as train of thought was difficult if not impossible to maintain and there were several times when I wondered if this was worth it.
Then as I looked in this person's eyes, there was an unexplainable connection that seemed to run deeper than the surface of discussion. As we exchanged big hugs as we left, I knew that "look" was a miracle and that it was I who came away more effected.
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