Saturday, September 22, 2012

Ever since the hard drive crashed and I had to reload back-ups and also replace years worth of acquired software I have been having the damnedest time with pictures.  Whereas they were all uploading to roughly the same area and I could edit and move them, the updated software of the various cameras we have send them all over. Even worse I can't find pictures I have had for years.

Admittedly, I have little patience for this and were I to sit for a few hours and remap things it probably would be better. Perhaps, but then I have to document the new way so that I can repeat it. One of my first digital cameras had this basic no frills software to upload and that is what I can't replace. The basic software was just what was needed to interface with Blogger.

September has hit and so has the coolness. Last week when I went out for a run at 6, it was in the 50s. Not cold enough for long sleeves or pants but a sign of what is to come. The late sunrise is more of a challenge than weather as I end up hanging around later drinking coffee and waiting for some sun before heading outside. With the youngin's gone my schedule is pushed back a little but that means that whereas I always needed to be back from a run by 6:30 I can easily do it til 7 and still leave at a decent time. I am determined not to start going in work early as a diversion. The past several months have been so chaotic at work that if anything I would find a reason to be late. Though the last few days I've had some breakthroughs that will hopefully calm things down.

The kids are thriving in their new environments and experiences and while we miss them dearly, the glow and confidence that they emit when talking about their new experiences makes a parent's heart glow..

 I did get some time in the afternoon a few weeks back to head out in the kayak. There is a section of the river that I can do in about 90 minutes. There are Zebra muscles in some of the rivers./ lakes around here and you are expected to clean your boat when you've been in such as play, which the lower part of this river is. So I am less likely to just grab the boat and go anywhere unless I've had a chance to hose it down. The other option for summer is to let it sit in the sun for a couple of weeks, which has actually been my option for most of this summer.

Tomorrow morning I do the Brocktrot -10k.  6.2 miles and it has some substantial inclines to it and in the past I have tended to get wrapped up in the excitement and  probably go out to fast. I also have been very conscious of being hydrated and have my water glass or bottle with  me most of the time.  Last year, though I did ok time wise, I think I had let myself be a little dehydrated and couldn't make it up quick enough the day before.  I felt like I was just about ready to collapse crossing the finish line and I could tell by the look on the officials faces that I looked as bad as I felt. But I recovered within a few minutes with some water and rest and a couple days off from running.  So learning from that I should be fine this year and the weather should also be cooperating.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

I had been on vacation just about a week and a half and went back to work mid-week. It had been an even longer break in some sense because some of the more challenging people I have to deal with were on vacation before me, so it had been over 3 weeks of respite from those issues.

My eldest came back from NYC having finished the first week of an internship, we have move him back to Boston for classes and will drop him off at the train tomorrow to resume a part-week  internship in NYC next week.

Lots of emotions have been going through me this past couple of weeks. With the kids gone it is so different, so quiet. It is like the rudder is broken and we are drifting until adjust. Last week when I was out for a long run I latched on the feeling as being so much like I felt many years ago when I went into work at a job I'd held for 10 years and was very unceremoniously and rather brutally told that it no longer existed and was handed a box. You attach yourself to something that in some sense becomes part of your identity and when it disappears it is like a part of you has died.  Intellectually I know that have kids go off is not the same as loosing a job but the immediate feelings are the same. What is my role now? 

Many people I know dive back into work when kids go off to college and let that consume their energy and time.  I am determined not to do this and to seek out what will renew and enhance rather than drain and deplete.When I returned to work the peace of the week was broken and almost immediately the bombardment of issues that build up because a lack of direction that I have little influence in. But, with a short week I am back into the weekend focusing in on what needs to be done and still on the rudderless side. I expect that when we get everyone else back on their routine, it will hit with more impact- but then it will be fall and the things that come up with that.