Out of the Comfort Zone/ Disconnecting auto pilot

There are times when I have found myself at an intersection. Something stops me, confronts me, presents itself, metaphorically blows up in front of me. I have a choice. The choices are autopilot, which may say to do nothing (let the choice go away or take care of itself) or to take the familiar turn or to want to run away from the decision or in other words try to turn back or to try something completely different. Something not as familiar or comfortable and unorthodox.

I wrote last about being discouraged and being presented with people doing things that were not cool, what I didn’t write was about the force that they were doing it. As a relatively low key person I don’t always do well with pit bulls or people not afraid to be “in your face” (whether or not they wear lipstick ), especially when they are in a place that I don’t expect them. I don’t confuse being low key with being a wimp or passive as I can also be quite formidable and immovable when provoked. This can be quite surprising to those who don’t know me as it can be like stepping on a rattle-snake.

But to be in that place for me often requires stepping out of a comfort zone. I like being a nice guy, I like being friendly and helpful, I like to work cooperatively, I don’t like being taken advantage in any way or form because of this. Who does!

So this past two weeks, which can go down in the book of weeks I’d like to forget, had me in such a place. The difference from other experiences was that it was an explosion, and confrontation, something mean spirited that I was presented with and the players were either manipulative or with extremely strong egos and self opinions of themselves and they presented this with such intensity that it took me very much off guard. It had me looking back, questioning decisions, questioning myself.


So my choices were to do nothing and hope it will blow over and feel like shit for having been “abused”. I could explode and demonstrate the actual authority I had over the situation. I would have to clean up the mess later but I would feel great in the moment. I could be manipulative back and find an alternative way to change behavior or “seek revenge”, which is an exhausting game to play and one I rarely like to play. The options and issues seemed a total blur.



Or I could disconnect the auto-pilot stepping out of my comfort zone and find a different route; confronting these strong willed perpetrators head on, calling them on their abuse, laying out expectations, leaving little doubt that I had many more options that I could exercise and that I was clearly willing to go there if necessary and also making them wait for the reaction. Basically daring them not to back down and apologize and see a wiser path.

So as I am writing about this in better frame of mind you can deduce that I chose the latter path and while it was rough and the path to sorting out the options not easy I am at a different place. I moved very much out my comfort zone to effectively respond to something formidable and new. While I know that my path is still lined with challenges on this I have grown and in some small way will never be the same. I am curious to see how this new growth will play itself out.

Throughout my life there are key times that I can point to where I have turned off the auto-pilot and in a very significant way stepped out of my comfort zone and taken a less comfortable direction. Like changes in the ring pattern of a tree these are my growth spots.

When life is like turning an aircraft carrier

This past week I was chatting with a manager who I recently hired and he said that there were many ways that he knew he could help improve the way his staff did their work and also make it easier, but they didn't want to hear some of it. I listened for a bit then told him to hold on to his ideas and not be discouraged and that we would talk further. Then I briefly shared a philosophy I have used for many years in management and in many aspects of my life that I refer to as "turning the aircraft carrier". Others might call it "taking the long view" but I like the visuals.

I find that I get varying responses from people whenever I share this. Some get it and some don't. Oh well!

This approach has come from some extremely difficult work and personal situations and experiences and when what was up front of me looked pretty bleak and discouraging and borderline hopeless.


The theory is that in turning an aircraft carrier you have to keep your eyes not just on the present but quite a distance into the future. If you want to turn it, or in life want to change something, it doesn't happen automatically and the initial work and decisions seem to have absolutely no impact. But to turn that carrier you have to have a vision of where you want to be and then start to make small changes that will gradually result in a cumulative big change. Plus once you have that change in motion it is much easier to move something that is moving. Eventually you will look back and go "wow" that's a big change that has occurred.



So in my manager's situation, he needs to make little changes that make people more comfortable with the direction he is leading them and gradually increase the number of changes until the cumulative amount of change becomes noticeable.

Is it easy to do this? Hell no. It takes tenacity and patience and a certain degree of optimism ....A few things I have felt blessed to have in varying degrees.

I have been in jobs when in my first week I was met by the IRS wanting payment of penalties for late payment and left the job several years later with it being profitable and healthy. Did I loose sleep and work phenomenal hours for which I was never fully compensated? Absolutely.

But for the most part I was treated well and these happened to be non profit organizations that provided a valuable service in the community and were also good employers to a lot of dedicated people. If I didn't succeed many people were going to loose their jobs. To get to the end where the "wolf was no longer at the door" I had to remember that I was turning an aircraft carrier and have the one year, two year, three year plan.

About a month after starting to run this spring I decided to go out on a limb and shared with someone that my short term goal was to run a 5k in under a half hour by summer and a 10k in under 60 minutes by fall. I have this spreadsheet that has tracked every workout since I started listing every workout by date, time, distance, route, amount of time a 5k would be finished at that pace and a 10k at that pace. I would tweak my routine to get the numbers I wanted.

If you have followed this blog you know that both goals have been accomplished and that I am now a fairly regular runner. Have I questioned my ability at time and worried that I would not be able to do it or would come in last, the proof is right here that I did. But then I put my head back down and worked at it. I also had a goal of being significantly lighter and have also met that goal and as a result have to buy smaller clothes.



So why am I telling this tale and sharing this philosophy? Because I need to remind myself of it at times. I have some challenges I am working on and its very easy for me to want to say I want out or I just want to avoid them. But I know I either shouldn't (the adult in me speaking) and I also know I can't hide from some tough decisions. I need to remind myself that this is nothing new and that I have done this before.

So what do these photos say?

The light is changing, more shadows are cast late in the day on the hills.
They were taken completely on the run, arriving late for a cross-country meet, as everyone was leaving or left, walking back down the hill to the car. Alot of things are seeming rushed even of there is time. I feel like there is much that is on the run, I am having to defend my time more than I like to have to.



Then there are the shadows. I am feeling blue. Unapologetically an absolute total liberal who finds it continually difficult to feel at odds with so many that I just do not understand how they think. I also want some things to be easy for a change. I want Caleb to wake up in the morning and find that his accident was a bad dream, I want the same for a friend who has cancer and one who has Krohn's. I want work to be uncomplicated for a change. I want someone to make the ant damage in my house go away without costing the same as a used car.

So for now I hunker down a bit, feeling like I can't be too down beat because I really don't want a pep talk or drag down everyone else, but not wanting to be upbeat. So I am quiet. I want something different. On Saturday I'll quietly help out on a Habitat project with my son and others and try to feed good karma to the world, I'll go for a longer run and try to feel good about the progress I've made, even though my times are quite lousy for the race I am hoping to do next month.

The glass is half full but it feels like it has a leak in it a small crack that lets energy drain. I need some glue.

Stuff in the road

The rain is heavy, the clouds are low, the wipers are working furiously to keep the vision clear, motion everywhere, claps of loud noise, people trying to pass you and people holding you up.



Oh, you think I am talking about being in the car and these pictures? I guess I can see why but I am not.

A friend posted on her blog that she felt like a squirrel in the road, dashing back and forth, not sure which direction safety lies.



While she has big time issues going on with the well-being and future of a child I think this feeling is all to common.

I am feeling at times like that squirrel and the deer in the headlights. Not sure what direction to go, questioning myself when I make a decision on direction and like both freeze in indecision and sometimes letting time make the decision for me.

At work lately I am neither of these, which is good, but in a way I am both of these. I don't freeze from total indecision, I freeze because another issue has come up that is more immediate and seems to keep pushing everything off to the side. Then when the items that were pushed aside become crucial I lecture myself about having gotten into the situation to begin with.

And then there are the home issues that can only be dealt with during the day but get trampled in the stampede, the carpenters, winter approaching that all compete for space in an already crowded mind.

Its a no win and not a good place to be at.

But I am tenacious and resilient, so I turn up the speed on the wiper and take some more deep breaths, chip away and dream of my run tomorrow morning, when I just accomplish something for me.

How do we measure value?

Several days ago getting out of the car to go in the house my hands and arms were full of books, lunch bag, PDA, water bottle, notes, mug and camera. This is not all that unusual as after an hour commute even having to make 2 trips back the 25 feet to the garage to bring things in seems like too much. Sometimes, though not often, something drops and I end up putting everything down on the other car to again get everything balanced and still have a couple of fingers available to open the door to the house. Hey, we all have are quirks. Balancing as many things as I can carry is one of mine.

On this one day it was my camera that slipped and crashed down hitting this two inch concrete strip at the base of the door. CRAP.

As I have written many times this camera is a cheap one, one of many bargains I have found along the way. It usually lives in my car or pocket and, as you’ve seen, I take pictures of whatever grabs me- even if it’s a view at 70mph (I never take my eyes off the road and just point the camera in the direction and click many times. The end product when I get home and upload (cheap cameras don’t have view screens) are sometimes interesting, great, blurred in some interesting way or just ready for the delete button. The pure joy of digital – no cost of processed film to feel guilty about deleting and starting over. But where was I going with this?

Quickly checking the camera out after dinner nothing rattled differently than before but no lights came on. It was dead! My initial reaction was sadness. This very basic thing had become an outlet for a new form of creativity, an opportunity to play with a different art form and be free of making mistakes. Plus I have to say that I like the challenges of having to work with such a basic camera and accompanying editing software that really only lets you crop the photo but not touch it up or manipulate it. My second reaction was to put it away until I had time to think about it and figure out how it worked while at the same time scanning e-bay for something similar.

For the next few days, picking it up and putting it down, I pulled the batteries out to understand more how it worked, which is extremely basic. The button pushes down and makes contact with the batteries and activates the shutter. That’s it. So playing with the switch and pulling out the batteries and recharging them (this thing eats up batteries which is why I bought a set of rechargeable ones) and the light when on. Adjusting the contacts on the inside, the shot counter lit up. YEAH!!

So it works again. The touch of the button is different (from me playing with the contacts and it will take some readjusting of me to get used to how long I hold the button down to wake the thing up and then to get the flash on and then to click a picture. But one the first pictures out of it is this one and it made me smile.

So what is the purpose of this entry other than to ramble? Easy!

My camera has become a creative extension to me even though it was cheap and is so very basic. That really doesn’t matter because when I play with the pictures and add words to them, it gives me happiness.

We all seem to juggle and pile on so many things in life that occasionally something very basic that we have come to rely on or enjoy falls off the pile and crashes. When it does it makes us almost as sad as if it was something more important or expensive. And then there is tenacity in not just giving up and tossing something aside because it was cheap and is basic.

Value is measured in so many different ways and some of the most valuable things to us cost the least.

Show up for life

Believe in all that is possible and be open to what seems impossible







Hold on tight - the ride is sometimes rough








Engage the spirit within and around










Life happens, be there - don't sit on the sidelines




These are themes I have been collecting to paint on flat rocks that I've picked up on our vacations on Cape Cod. The rocks are still in a bag and the thoughts collect in the PDA, so its time for movement and to get on with it. The only paint brush in my near future is for house paint.

What thoughts would you add?

What am I thankful for!

I am not always fully aware of the inspirations for this blog and I am still very much of a student of writing. A series of subtle observations and situations has created a spiritual conflict and is challenging something at the core and like dominoes brings into question many other things. For those who are aware of my writing, this isn’t a religious issue but much broader and it is through the skin and senses and soul.

In some areas of my life I am trained to be very thick skinned but when something I have thought has meaning or is beneficial to general good Karma is challenged as being meaningless the delicate house of cards begin to quake.

I thank folks for the generous comments, both here and by email. This is a recalibration of expectations and insights. When we do things that we hope better the world as we know it, either in specific deed or in healing and good thought, the most we can hope for is that we put it all out there and let the wind carry it. In doing so we sometimes make ourselves more vulnerable, but the risk of not doing something is greater than not.

We can never know if it all matters, but there is absolutely no doubt that making the effort and being conscious of the need to make the effort does matter.

* I am thankful for all the good that is out there.
* I am thankful for the bright sun that rose today and made the morning dew sparkle on the grass.
* I am thankful for the masses of genuinely good people out there
* I am thankful for the breeze that makes the leaves outside my window flutter and dance.
* I am thankful if my random thoughts hit a tone with someone, anyone -even if I don’t know it.
* I am thankful if my comments to others do make their day a little easier and lighter and perhaps they pass that lightness on to others.
* I am thankful for the cheerful and insightful comments of others as it makes my day lighter and pauses me to stop and be present.
* I am thankful for family whose love is unrestricted
* I am thankful for people around me who tolerate me singing and dancing and being a little looney at times but know that I also have a serious deep side as well.
* I am thankful for the people who have the jobs of doing things that I am glad I don't have to do
* I am thankful that I work for an organization that is truly thoughtful in its deeds and treatment of people and well as in its words
* I am thankful I work with people who are not just talented but genuine and just chuckle at me talking to myself and doing some off beat things
* I am thankful for the people at work and church and other settings who just smile at me being occasionally neurotic about recycling and just chuckle when I am half submerged in the trash digging out plastics.
* I am thankful for laughter
I am thankful for those who are conscious of and care for the environment
* I am thankful for the family of rabbits that dance around my yard
* I am thankful for those who challenge me intellectually yet keep me from becoming too serious.
* I am so thankful that I live in an area where I last night could see a professional Shakespeare production 5 minutes away and have a good laugh.
* I am thankful for all the people I have met volunteering here and there and for their energy, work, quiet devotion and spirit
* I am thankful for the beauty and peace of the area where I live
* I am thankful for the people who are attuned to the practice of healing prayer and thought and who will help me through this current rough patch.
* I am thankful for so much that I can't list
* I am thankful for life.
* For anyone who is reading this, I am thankful for you,

Does it matter?

For the past week or so I have been experiencing more doubt than I have felt in quite a while. I am testy, unmotivated, not able to focus and not at all upbeat and having a tough time making it through each day at work. I even find I don't want to run in the morning, something that for months I had come to look forward too. Even getting this post out is a challenge.

I have been thinking out the theme to a post on the impact that small and large things we do have on others and how they then effect how they relate to others. I have lots of ideas, but they won’t come out on the keyboard.

While I have frequently thought that we all can have an impact on others and therefore can effect how they treat others, now I don't know. There are those dynamic people that seem to draw people to them and seem to always have an impact on others even if all they are doing is going about their every day life. I am for the most past on the quieter side, except for a limited few who would absolutely laugh at the "quiet" comment. I know that the quiet is perceived by some as disinterested, when it is not. The things I do are lower key and often I keep them to myself with the believe that karma is fed more fully when the source of the deed is not known. Is this foolish? I don't know.

I am sure that you can list people who have a dramatic effect on people and their community around them (large and small). I am thinking I am just not one of those people. This isn’t necessarily a feeling of depression it is more of sadness, regret, resignation of "does it matter". More the George Baily feeling.

Does it matter that I smile a lot throughout the day and laugh pretty easily and say hi to most everyone I interact with? Does it matter that I give out anonymous birthday cards throughout the year to all 50 people in my office or do other similar things when no one really knows it is me? [ no one at work knows about this blog, so that secret is safe] Does it matter that I leave comments on other people’s blogs so that they know I was there and that their thoughts mean something? Does it matter that I am always volunteering to help with this or that project? Does it matter that I send positive thoughts to a list of people each day who do not know it? Do the prayers of healing really do anything for others except make me think they do? Does it matter that I write this blog? Does anyone really know it is here?

Intellectually I know the answer to most of these is yes, (except for the last few) but in a more solitary way I really don’t know and even more profound, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter that I feel this way.



So, today there is a picture of reflection because that is where I am at. Not necessarily liking the view but knowing that life changes on a dime and hopefully that view will become more clear.

The Greening of Spring

Taking my $10 point and click camera out this seemingly dreary morning snapping pictures of spring just to see what comes though the lenses. There is so much brown, so much matted down from the snow and ice but tucked all about are so many sprouts of green life. Through the gnarled thickets are small flowers in bloom. The heavy cool dampness chills the bones but is protective and nourishing this new life.



There is a part of the woods behind our property that was harvested for hardwoods a few years back and what was left was a mess of hacked trees and bushes, tire ruts and a visual wasteland. But the sun that was opened up has helped nature reclaim this space with sprouts of green, saplings that had been shaded and can now grow and this is now an area for more birds and animals.

The rain is soft though the air is cool. The mist hangs over the mountains like a cool nourishing blanket, drifting with the breezes.




Out of the brown of winter comes new growth, new life, new opportunity. The sun will come out another day and the flower will bloom and the trees will be full, but this only because of the cool rain and mists and clouds of days like today.

So much of what goes on with the seasons goes on with us as people, in our lives and with our challenges. Through periods of brown can come new growth. Nourished by what supports us we again bloom another day in another way. Maybe not the same as before but as someone else once said, a rose is a rose and here a bloom is a bloom,

God can I have new piece of paper?

I feel like I have made a mess of this one and am feeling in so many ways that I would like to start over. With so many mistakes it sometimes feels like I am trapped in a maze, this paper is not as good as I wished it could be. There are times when I can see the direction and the choices are clear and the times when the options were vague and I felt like I was in a fog;

I find myself mourning for all the wrong turns that I have taken, the lost time, the missed clues, the opportunities that came and I was too afraid to jump on or too caught up in figuring out the maze that the opportunity came and when.

This paper has so many cross-outs and notes in the margins from so far back that some of them I can no longer read. I struggle to figure out what goes where and what order to do it in and at times I am so confused. I fear that if this test were to end you’d hand it back as incomplete and lacking focus and totally missing the point.

There are passages I would so much like to erase –where I have hurt others or been oblivious to their pain- but the eraser doesn’t seem to work. There are rips in the paper where I have been hurt and though I have tried to mend them with layers of tape, I still find myself getting caught on the jagged edges.

My paper is stained with so many tears and dirt and sweat from work and marks from the hands of messy children and pets, the folds are worn from years of folding and unfolding, considering and then not considering; stuffing things in my pocket and forgetting them for too long.


If I could have a clean piece of paper I wouldn’t make the same mistakes. I would know early on what I should be doing and what to forget. I would know what mistakes really don’t matter with time and what seemingly minor ones do. I would know clearly which paths I missed and where I took the wrong turns. I would know the opportunities that will not last and that I should fully appreciate before they are lost. I’d be much smarter and wiser with this new paper.


But the how would I capture the beauty and sense of purpose that I discovered when I was lost? Can I copy over those experiences from all the wandering around? I don't know how it would it fit together, the context would be gone. How would I find my wife, my soul mate that I discovered though many wrong turns? And yes I still want those finger marks and margin notes from my kids and everything else about them; and yes the stains from the pets I have loved, they can stay as well. The tears of joy and compassion shared with family and friends, I don’t want to loose them; the random opportunities and joy, how will I write them down? If I could keep the lessons learned from healing without the hurt - but how would I do that?

How would I piece it together, the good and the bad? Out of so many mistakes also came so much good, so much laughter, so much fun, so much wisdom. From those journeys down the unknown paths and times of great pain came family I might never have had and friends I might never have found. How do I start over and still keep all of these? Could I take away the hurt I caused others and keep all else that is on this paper that seems so intertwined? That would be enough.


If starting over means that I loose so much that I love and cherish and so much that has made me who I am, then I’ll keep the paper I have and keep plugging away. If I could wish away the bad and wish for more of the good, then of course that is what I would do. But it doesn’t seem like that is the assignment.

So God, thanks for listening. I’ll keep the paper I have; for I guess you have seen worse and maybe seen better. When the time is up and I have to turn it in I expect I will do OK for originality even if it wasn’t perfect.

The currents of Life

There are times when I think I am a stone in the river of time, held in place in the riverbed and supported by those around me. The currents of life wash over, bringing all sorts of interesting things and experiences; bubbling, lapping, slurping around. With time the constant flow smooths my rough edges, wearing me in some spots and leaving me untouched in others but then I am here for the duration. Often the current is smooth and there is peace. But there are times of drought when I feel alone, not connected with others by the current, dry, baking in the sun and feeling stagnant. Occasionally there are times of flood and these engulf me and all that is around, churning, boiling and full of uncertainty; sometimes moving me from my place of security to somewhere I have never known; changing my world as it has been and the support I have counted on. But in my heart I know that the security that I once knew is still around, it is just different and I must adapt to something new, for I must always remember is that the calm and peace will return; it always does. The currents of life are constant, they never end and even rocks must seek some grounding and be centered lest the floods wash us over the falls to a place from which we cannot return.

The eye of the soul

The eye of the soul sees what is all around and not just what is in front of it, it sees down deep, sees what is constant and what is true. The eye of the soul is not distracted by awkwardness, or what is irrelevant. When its vision is clear the eye of the soul reveals the core of what is important and what is beautiful. It sees calm in the midst of chaos, it sees through the fog and sees what can be. For those who can truly see, the eye of the soul can not be blinded.

Changing Seats

I am a person who doesn’t like to sit in the same place over an over. I like to try different views or sit on a different side of the room when taking a class or at church. I find it boring to do the same thing over and over. Perhaps it is a carryover from years of teacher assigned seats but actually I think there is an advantage to sitting in different locations.

Different locations provide significant and subtle changes in perspective. The light is different as it the view. Sometimes it’s no better or sometimes even worse but it’s different. In a large space the sound changes depending where you sit and music has a different sound; you notice different things about what is going on or different things about the place such as the architectural features or the furnishings. If it’s a large place that you frequent, such as church or a community event, then you come in contact with different people. Because many people never change location.

People have different reactions to me doing this. Some find it amusing, as they never know where I will pop up, some find it interesting but admit that they couldn’t do it themselves because they always sit in the same place, some find it annoying [sorry] and there are those who just don’t seem to notice, which is fine with me. I really do it for the reasons I have already said above, in fact it I find myself sitting in the same place I will get up and move.

I was speaking with someone about this today and he shared that he once worked on dairy farm and the cows always returned to the same milking station and stall. Have you ever noticed that many people are total creatures of habit? Are you? Going to a meeting, or to church or a local event, many people will sit in the same place over and over. When someone sits where they usually sit then they can actually become unsettled and they sit right next to where they always sit or in more extreme cases, they tell the person that they are in their seat.

Being unsettled is sometimes good. It keeps you aware, it keeps you present and it keeps you from being mistaken for a dairy cow. Try a different seat sometimes!

Finding a voice

What does it take to find a voice? For some it is the inspiration of a talent, the ability to sing or speak extemporaneously or to excel at a sport. For others it may take being backed into a corner before they are willing to speak out or a life changing experience that hits at your core. For writers I expect that it is much the same way. Some are born with a talent that is nurtured and developed, some learn the technical aspects and work at it through practice and with some it may be inspirational bursts. In another group are those who learn to write for what they need to do: communicating facts, expressing ideas, persuading a position. The technical skills become refined but writing from the heart stays as something avoided.

I am someone for who writing has not come naturally and freely. Working on the technical aspects of refining and refining a draft for work or school my work has become tighter and I have become competent but the ability of doing writing that is creative has been a challenge and is elusive.

Often when I sit alone, whether it be paddling my kayak along a quiet river or in front of the fire in the early morning thoughts just pour out. Sometimes they follow in some order or sometimes come in random streams of consciousness. It is at those times that I wish there was a record button; for when I try to recall later to write it all down or when I start to take out the pad and write, many of the thoughts wisp away. The truth is that I am not sure I could possibly write them all down or even if there was a record button, could manage the torrent of thoughts afterwards. It seems at the time to be just a few thoughts but, when I think about it, the comparison is more like trying to count the droplets coming out of a water sprinkler.

Then there are those times when I can make my mind at peace or at least some semblance of peace and connect to that inner voice. The times when I am writing a message of support for someone else and it feels like I am the medium for the message. I am thinking and typing the words; sometimes go through a few versions or ponder over it through the night, but then I sit there and read it and think, I wrote that? And then there are times when the words just seem to come out. Expressing my thoughts in a way that just fits.

I am discovering that, if I go with those feelings and the urge to write at the moment then I discover something about me that I never knew before and that many others never knew either. I was never before a writer but at these times I think that perhaps I could be. Life is all about learning.

Journeys

Journey…..for some it is a trip loaded with baggage of all types, on the road for long period of time , always asking the question…..are we there yet? It is the way to a destination. Yet for many others the journey is not to a destination, if a destination is even known, it is life that happens along the way. On these sorts of journeys the destination may seem very clear at first but the outcome changes and the journey becomes the personal growth and discovery that we experience while finding our way. Sometimes the destination is cloaked in a fog and we don’t know what or where it is, but we know that we just can’t stay where we are and we move on. It is a tribute to the strength and tenacity of the human spirit that we don’t just throw our hands up when the way becomes confusing or the journey becomes physically or emotionally difficult. We feel that we have no choice but to persevere….to keep moving.

We do have a choice…we could give up or we could just look for the easiest way out or we could go back even if going back is not a good thing or is a painfull thing. Sometimes even something bad can seem better than the unknown because it is "comfortable", it is the familiar. Or we could just be in denial that we are on are way to anywhere. "Life, please go away and leave me alone" .

Out of the ashes of pain and despair we see hope and like a beacon this leads us along this great journey.

Along the way on our journey we can become in tuned with the world around us, those subtle changes that can measure progress. We can open ourselves to receive coaching and “cheering” from others along the way….we can travel in silence but be observant of all that is around us and of the many lessons and simple gifts to be picked up. In this silence….we are not alone. We can also help others along the way.

Or we can choose to be silent in this journey…..angry at each challenge that we encounter and sullen to all we meet, as if they were the cause of our despair. We still are not alone but we would just prefer that we be left alone to wallow.

But will we know when we have arrived?

If we have become one with the journey and of the lessons of the journey, it does not matter if we have arrived because of the many gifts and lessons we have received and because the many another journey awaits us.

Or if we fight and resent each journey then we never really finish the trip because even though we have arrived we continue to carry all of the heavy baggage around and that eventually makes us worn out and bitter.

We have a choice……….

May you have a good journey…..May you be aware….May you be at peace……May you be at peace.