Realizing it's been several week since I posted. As I sit here the smell of urethane drifts down the hall, not sure if it is giving me a buzz or I am just over tired. Years ago I gave up before and after shot of home renovations because we were usually so fried afterwards that we didn't want to be reminded.

This past weekend we pulled the carpet and padding that has covered the stairs to the second floor to prep the oak treads for refinishing. With the kids grown and less need for padded stairs, it was time and at the same time we would have an old foyer parquet floor refinished to see if it has any life.

The challenge to a project like this is that this is our only access to the second floor and the wood floor to be refinished also includes the only bathroom on the first floor. So it was either going to be dry enough at the end of the day to traverse or a ladder was going to be the egress through the back window. And of course with all the planning, the forecast for every day this week is rain. We are at the end of day 2 and it dried enough last night to scoot across and the same tonight. Tomorrow is the last coat so that by weekend we will be ready to put doors back on, replant the toilet and pain the back part of the stairs and trim. The contrast is so amazing that now I wish I had a before shot.

The current rush is to get this done for prom and graduation festivities next week Then the week after that one of the upstairs bathrooms gets attacked and brought up from the 1970s to current. Definitely more disruption but it will be good when it is done.

Having both kids around for the summer changes dynamics and I am going to miss it in the fall. We are already grieving the transition of last kid leaving high school and so many "last" events. I expect  summer to sprint by and before we know it we'll have an empty house in the fall, but I can't dwell on that or I start to tear up.

I am doing shuttle in the early morning to get the eldest to work by 6:30 then I find I can hit the gym and get 40 minutes on the treadmill and shower and change and get into work much the normal time. So while I am a little more tired, I am getting more fit. Last weekend I did my first 11.5 mile run. An experiences of starting to run down one direction feeling a little lethargic for a few miles and then come to the beginning of a 10k race route that I've run several times and headed through those hills and back roads til the end and then being several miles from home. It was more than I though I could do before but now am determined to tackle a half marathon (13.2 miles) in the near future. I've been mulling one over for next weekend but as I slipped on some high arch sandals last night and felt a stabbing pain, I'm thinking I really need to take a few days off and train at that mileage for some more weeks.  I now know I can easily finish a half marathon but I need to make sure I do it am injury free.

It was 37 degrees this morning when I climbed into the tights and went out for what ended up being a 7 mile run. I took a totally new route today which involved a hill that was easily be a mile long climb and one that if you were on a bike you'd be down shifting to a low gear. Then around the corner and up and down several hills. Yesterday I was running against 30 degree winds and didn't make it too far before turning back, but today the sun was out and while it was cold, the wind wasn't there.

Things have been crazy of late. I have written about some of that here and some is so personal and so lacking in clarity that I rarely speak of it let alone write. Heading out to the gym at lunch for a quick 40 minute run is what keeps my stress levels controlled and me from spinning out of orbit. The upside of these jaunts to the gym has been that I can set the treadmill to fit what I need and for the past could weeks its been a combination of sprints and heavy runs up good sized inclines. Both of these burn off adrenalin and also burn off the extra food that I find myself nibbling at work as stress fixes.

So this morning when I left my street and headed toward the long hill I normally would take a left and do a route that is rolling and goes into town. But this morning I kept on going straight and went downhill and then started to climb. To my great satisfaction my treadmill workouts had me ready to complete the hill and still have something to turn the corner and continue on.  On a long run it takes me about 20-25 minutes before I start to feel good and at about 40 minutes I am at my peak and that is when I start to think about returning back. At about an hour I am starting to feel tired and but usually by then pretty close to home, although I always have a last quarter mile hill to get up to my street.

Finishing up the run I felt great as usual but a short while later my butt was clearly reminding me that I gave myself a strong hill workout. A few Ibuprofens and even that is under control.

So why the hell did I even start writing about this?  I guess it's because with all going on around home and work I have been thinking a lot of how small changes can really have an impact when they start to accumulate. There aren't a lot of big changes I can make to make things better or calmer or more fulfilling, so I am seeking out even the smallest positive change.  One of them being to gradually increasing the incline and speed on the treadmill over several weeks of short runs reveled itself this morning in my ability to tackle a 7 mile run of mostly hills in just a about an hour. Not a shabby time at all.

So I will continue to seek out those little changes and continue to see where they bring me.

wish I had a picture

We were in New York City a few days ago and after a day seeing some sights some of the family of the family wanted to go shopping, but given the option of tagging along through the womens department, I chose to head back to the hotel and go out for a run. We weren't anywhere near central park so my option was running the treadmill in the basement fitness center or to hit the streets. Most who read this blog can guess my choice. I am an outdoors person even in the city. Running through traffic and around the crowded sidewalks was a rush and there was a bike lane that I could share with the occassional bikers.

Compared with my usual routes running in the city is great. It is flat and with the exception of having to stop for lights and the heat, it was easy to get up a fast pace and 5 miles was done pretty quickly. It was much more fun than my workout yesterday of walking up and down the 19 floors to our room. In a small stairwell the back and forth of the landings left me dizzy at the bottom.

But back to the title of this post. While out for my run, I did encounter bikers and the strangest one I encountered was the person texting with 2 hands coming toward me on 6th Avenue. As I approached him I thought it wiser to slip through the crowd on the sidewalk. On my return trip I encountered him again only this time he was one foot from hitting a cab parked on the road side. As he discovered the cab a bit of shock crossed his face followed by sheepeshness as he apologized to the driver. I am sure this wasn't his first crash and won't be his last. And no he wasn't wearing a helmet.

The chucking of the sacred tennis balls - Happy Easter

For many years we have had a pre-Easter tradition of participating in and coordinating the chucking of the sacred tennis balls. Sounding a little irreverent on the surface it is a tradition started by an artist member of our church who figured out that if you attached fish line to a tennis ball you can hurl them up through the rafters and then connect one end to long spools of fabric that are pulled to the front and attached under the cross the other end tied off to the sides. The effect is quite dramatic effect and beautiful. Like streamers, some go the entire distance and some take off and seems to end in the middle of the air, like rays of sun.



Hurling a ball attached to a spool of fish line sounds easy until you try it. Thirty feet up with not much windup space requires a little practice as does picking out different lengths of fabric that work. While the process has been refined, every year it is a little different as it is up to the chucker which rafter is picked or accidentally hits and the different fabric used.

This all happens on the evening of Good Friday, appropriate in that everything breakable has been put away and is out of sight. Those balls do bounce and some people have really bad aim. But it is an event for all and anyone who shows up gets a chance to chuck a ball. There is one ball that several years back got stuck and hangs from one of the highest rafters dangling from a few feet of line. You have to be a certain angle to see it and whenever I see it throughout the year, it makes me smile and remember this wonderful Easter tradition.



We have been doing this for quite a while with both the kids and last year and this, my youngest coordinated the effort.

The streamers will stay up for quite a while and couples have even planned weddings to match the time that they will be up.

Happy Easter to all......off to breakfast and Church

I think like all places it has been unseasonably warm but supposed to get down to the 40s this week. The daffodils are up and blooming an entire month early. The vernal pools are full and peepers making quite a racket. Spring is definitely here. The early morning light of spring, which enables me to run early, isn't here yet. But on the other end, the later sunsets give a little more time on before dinner.

I have this saying that there are times that I feel like my get up and go just got up and left and most weekends have been like this and definitely tonight.

It's the end of a weekend, I haven't been on here much oe around to other blogs I check in on. A combination of loosing all my bookmarks and still trying to recover software and files from the crash, numerous projects juggling and a couple of my volunteer gigs raising money and a lot of work related shit that drains the energy.

Yesterday was a burn day. The weather good, wind not heavy and a good chance to get rid of the Christmas tree which when I saw it in the yard I recalled how almost all the needles had fallen of it by the time I dragged it out of the house. Lots of dead limbs in the yard and it was dry enough to pull vines down out of trees and cut up some half fallen trees and of course there are the wood pallets that the wood pellets came on. Use to be that you had to trek into the fire department to get a permit and then call on the day you are burning to get put on the list. Now its a county web link that tells you if you can burn on that day and then sends you to an application to records your address and cell phone number, in case you call with an out of control fire, I guess. Then automatically sends you the permit to print down. Easy enough and I am sure it saves the fire departments from having to deal with this. A little bit of the small town stuff lost but in this case progress is good and easier.

A few hours later and I am done with that project and shortly there after learning of the different muscle groups used in pulling vines out of trees that I normally don't use. I am in pretty good shape and usually don't feel much after running or working out or even moving a couple tons of pellets, so that I notice this is remarkable. And of course there comes the tick check when all is done, always made more difficult because my usually 20/20 vision is very fuzzy and unbalanced at close-up and using glasses for this task is a challenge. Ah such daunting obstacles I face. :-D.

Today was another college visit, this time around they are accepted student days so there is a schedule and program and keeping for being overloaded with information and as a parent struggling for that balance between wanting information recognizing that accepting a new level of independence is called for.

Next week winds down a big mailing on a new fundraiser I am coordinating to support a group of programs from a soup kitchen, to community support meetings (AA, NA, teen violence) and general emergency support for those on the fringes that are in need. A new initiative that has taken a while to pull together. The end of the week is my final high school musical volunteer marathon working 5 shows and then counting up and tracking all the concessions money. After 8 years I am ready to be done. Having already backed away qite a bit, especially since I haven't had a kid involved in the past 2 years, this is the final step and I am ready to pass things on. I think I'd be a bit more nostalgic if I had someone still involved but for the past couple years I have been paying back for what others gave to the program and my kids. So it will be a busy week and will distract me from work.

So it is the end of a work week and I am prepping to head off to the gym for a long run.

This week I joined the legions of folk who have experienced having their hard drive crash. It was as much the event as it was that I was pulling together 4 scholarship applications with the kids that had to be out by overnight mail to get places by the 1st. A dead computer means a printer that has nothing to talk to let alone being to update the essays and attachments. So at 3AM I get the printer hooked up to a laptop and everything assembled to go out the next day. Then spend that past couple of days figuring out what happened. Fortunately I have a data backup from a couple of months ago but at year end with taxes and college apps and financial aid forms, a hell of alot changes in a couple of months.

So having spent the last couple of nights doing diagnosics and getting tips from friends on facebook I am ready to declare it as dead and sending it off to a local repair guy to see what he can retrieve. Fortunately in the meantime, there was a spare old computer my son had that was ready to be recycled that is now back in service. A little slower than the other but it works and I can start to rebuild.

Add to this that it has been a tough work week and snow and ice and I am ready for a nice long run.

So I am sitting quietly in the living room last night around 9:30 contemplating life and scholarship forms. Its quiet with only the faint sound of the TV and pellet stove a few rooms away. Gradually my ears perk up to the sound of sirens. Is it the wind, something going on in the neighborhood?

To get a context, we live on a dead end street adjacent to a state forest and the main road is about a tenth of a mile at the entrance and we live about a half mile from the high school. [remember I have this whole town measured out in running lengths]

So quiet is what it is pretty much all of the time. The town has a population of 5,000 which decreases in the winter months as the snow birds disappear and it is without a doubt off season and dull around here.

As I get up an move to the front door there aren't many house lights on as an indication of some emergency. But opening the front door and poking my head out there's the roar of ladder trucks and pumpers clearly on the move. Sensing the direction the Ah Hah moment hits.

What school team was playing tonight? A sweet tradition in town is that when ever a high school team wins the championship and is out of town, the returning bus is met at the town line by just about every fire truck and police vehicle the town has and is escorted into town and then sirens blaring, the bus is escorted around town a couple of times, ending up at the high school. What I heard was the caravan making a pass by the high school then heading back across town and then back again a couple of times. As I said, its a sweet tradition and my kids have fond memories of being in one of those bus escorts.

Not something you could do in a city or perhaps in the summer with all the tourists that might freak out, but in the dullness of the winter in a small town its one of the best traditions.

It was the girls basketball team that won the district championship by a point. Good for them.

I have been back and forth to the blog, posting for a few minutes a picture from the summer and then dashing back to life. I also haven't had much time to read and think about the posts of other blogs I visit either. If I have the time to drop in, I read the words quickly, but my mind is off to doing something else, much as it is beginning to do as I write these few sentences.

Dinner to start getting ready, college financial aid forms to go over one more time to be able to submit them by the deadline. Trying to follow their path of asking for information then seeming to ask for the same information again but in a different way. Am I reporting the stuff twice, is it going to hurt the results?

[three days later] February 1, 2012

I have always said that if I, who deals with financial data in the tens of millions of dollars and reports that are hundreds of pages long, finds these forms bewildering then what do others think. But then I think that because I deal with this stuff so much that I am use to analyzing and perhaps over analyzing it and making it more difficult. Could very well be. But for this year, under the gun to get 3 tax filings and 2-4 financial aid forms done by the 31st of January has been bewildering.

But I met the deadline with a day to spare. I have also been struggling with getting 350 consultant earnings statements out at work, which also had a Jan 31 deadline and which were, for the past 2 years done by someone who worked for me but no longer does. The adrenaline was pumping overtime and boy just reading this makes the tasks seem even more boring than they were.

So the college things are mostly done, I have 2 more to do but have a month to finish and because they had to match for both kids, much of it is done. The first work deadline was met and now I am working on the next part of the step. Downloads of data, cutting and pasting data fields, uploading to access then downloading again then uploading to the various states. It's a mind bender that I find both frustrating and a challenge. But I 'd much rather it be a challenge for someone else.

Plus it took me longer to shake that cold than it usually does. Go figure.

Today I escaped at lunch and did 40 minutes on the treadmill with the settings set for "hills" and felt much better. Much of the excess crap burned away.

It has been in the 60s here. A strange winter it is. My oldest is studying in southern Italy this semester (didn't mention that getting that send off implemented also happened last week) and writes that a foot of snow fell and is continuing to fall.

But I also notice that it is still a little light when I leave work and getting lighter earlier in the morning. But then I look out and see that I still have a one ton pile of pellets and that is a reminder that spring is still a bit off.

This has nothing to do with today. I have and achy coughing cold and slogging through piles of year end papers and I just need some summer.

there for but the grace of God, is me

We all have our reasons for doing something or not, of being a certain way or not, of connecting present situations and experiences, or not.

There is something that is very much to the core of me in the subject line. It frames the way I am on many days, the way I interact with people at work, the way I think spiritually and about my community and even the way I think of my politics.

I feel I can divulge some of this here because certainly this is not main stream media or a high traffic site. Sort of like, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound?

I have been blessed with many things throughout my life, a loving family and parents who were happily married 60+ years; and while we were far from well off, I knew we were also far from poor. I have had the opportunities of education and travel that it has taken my adult perspective to really appreciate. I have had employment that has provided the resources for me and my family to do things that many can't even consider. I am blessed with a life partner and exceptional children and a home life that is blessed in many ways. I work for and with people who care equally for those who it serves and and those who serve.

While we are shaped by many of the things I have mentioned, I believe we are also shaped by the hardships and bad experiences that come our way. It is not only on how we come out of them that is important, but also the lessons we carry from those experiences. Some of these experiences we can work with an some we can not.

My loss of a sibling when I was but a child had a profound effect on me in a way that I am repeated challenged to this day. But it is who I am.

I know that as a manager I am exceptionally good at working with people who are good at what they do but may need to be transitioned to another job or who are a challenge for others to manage. I know that a good amount of this is internal wiring, but another good share is from how poorly I was treated by managers who were brutal and demeaning and who had options to make more humane choices, but didn't. I vowed long ago, that this would never be me as a manager, that given the choice, retaining as much of someone's dignity as possible, was a moral responsibility.

Many years ago I had a health incident that I was truly lucky to recover from let alone go on to function at the level I have. I knew of someone who, at the same time, had a similar incident and was the same age as me and did not survive. What is physically left of that incident is only evident to me and certain specialists. It had taken me a long time to deal with these shadows of my past and how I now l have learned to deal with them is I run. Through this experience, as with others, I learned much, was also pretty dense and needed to be reminded of what I learned and have occasionally needed a self inflicted 2x4 to remind me of how lucky I was and am. And through this and in working with elderly parents with health issue, I learned to be very comfortable within the health care system. A knowledge that I freely share and has recently tapped a spiritual outlet for me.

So, as I remind myself repeatedly, we either let our past experiences shape who we are and how we come at life, or we use these experiences as tools to continually shape our lives and our perspectives and outlook. We are a work in process until the end.

We often keep the Christmas tree up through part or most of January. This year, getting it up and decorated so late it seems a shame to not let it hang around for a while.

This year seems to have been the year of the dying Christmas lights. Having started with several strings on the outside tree that were working fine until I strung them, then half of the lengths of 2 long strings just went out. Replacing those with new ones, one of the replacements did the same. No loose bulbs on any and, though I am technically pretty savvy, I don't completely get how the fuses work. Actually I haven't spent much time trying to figure it out beyond reading the small sheet of directions which doesn't include anything about part of the string lighting and part not.

So then I moved on to the inside tree and all the lights were fine when I tested them but then when I had them all strung, the same thing happened. Being so close to Christmas, I found replacements but then the same thing happened to one of the 2 replacements. Not a good Karma year for lights.

A couple of days ago it was brought to my attention that one of the strings at the top had gone dark. Again, no loose plugs or bulbs. And now a second string has died leaving the top third of the tree dark.

So I am thinking that the way this is going, we won't be storing many lights this year as, if this trend continues, in a couple of weeks the entire tree will be dark. I guess it then will be time to take it down and next year shop for a totally new batch of lights. If we make to closer to February, then it will be "burn time" and the tree will move on to it's next incarnation.

Happy 2012 to all who venture here.

It's the last day of vacation. A one day reprieve brought on by the placement of the holiday on this Monday. Having the week off was good and mostly very low key. My wife does most of the cooking during the week, because I get home late, and she was also on vacation last week. So it made sense to to take that up last week. I like doing it, and do it every weekend so this was just a small change for me and gave me some structure. We did a trip to the theater with the family to see Santa Land Diaries. A great benefit of being a full time residents here is what they call the "Berkshire discount" which for a performance like this was half price. We also did a couple days travel to visit family and could hit some of the high school basketball games, which are fun and very fast to watch.

Other that that it was a very unstructured week. I had to check work emails a few times and handle some tasks that didn't have coverage and that was more than enough work exposure. I was conscious of not engaging in responding to some of the email rants and just forwarded them to others in case they "blew up" because I wasn't there. Sometimes people need constant stroking and reassurance and I realize that it is those parts of my job that are the most draining.

So as I am in this last day I am even more unstructured than usual and all over the place. A moderate run in the morning, checking the work emails for any land mines I'll hit tomorrow. (nothing more than the earlier rants). A few chores and getting ready for a meeting tonight, cleaning the fishbowl and thinking of the lists I need to make of all things going on over the next several weeks. We are in college application process for my youngest and anyone who has gone through that and knows the terms FAFSA and CSS profile and two kids in college, can relate to my angst about the to do list. But that too will get done.

So, I hear that the latest batch of bread is out of the oven and a visitor is at the door and I hear the dryer buzzer also summoning me. All amazingly routine stuff, which is great.

Cheers!

It really doesn't seem like it is December 28th. Last night was heavy rain and today was kind of a mix. The last few days its been cold and a mixture of flurries and snow. Neither winter nor fall.

Being on vacation this week and exposed to more food than usual, thanks to a son who loves to bake and is very good at it, I have been trying to get some miles in running on the treadmill in the basement. While I can work up a good sweat, the challenge is that the tread movement isn't always even and can jump, so if I don't hold on I could easily end up on the floor. But holding on is bad form and leads to uneven strides and lower back aches. So in this more mild weather what better motivation to hit the street.





The mist over the hills and over the fields is of course beautiful and while lush green foliage of summer is stunning there is a simpler more visible beauty in nature that is exposed without the leaves and brush. As I ran the snow flurries began and soon were pelting me like rice confetti at a wedding, but soon they too moved on.


On a day like this, it is hard to believe that this is what is was a year ago today.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Olivia's Overlook

My blog seems to get a good number of hits from people looking for information on Olivia's Overlook. Probably because I uploaded some shots awhile ago.

So I thought I'd add some more and some links for visitors who are looking.

The overlook itself is a clearing in the woods created but the laying of gas lines and reveals stunning views of Lake Mackinac aka Stockbridge Bowl. The land is part of land trust and is connected to other land trusts and protected properties. This is part of Yokun Ridge.



The Berkshire Natural Resource Council manages many properties throughout the Berkshires. Click on their name and it will bring you to this property with access to the others.

So if you are headed to Olivia's overlook, enjoy the view but don't miss out on some of the other great views and trails as well.

This one is



There are also several pieces of land within 5 minutes from here that are great for hiking. Steven's Glen being one and another is Pleasant Valley Wildlife Sanctuary ( part of Mass Audubon)


The Michael Walsh trail leaves from the parking lot and goes up along the ridge line and into the woods.



Across the road connects to the Burbank Trail loop up to Mission Pond. As the sign warns, some of these properties are open for hunting in season, so caution is advised in the cooler months. Pleasant Vally Sanctuary does not allow hunting.




These pictures were taken in the morning as the mist was still on the lake and hadn't yet been burned of by the sun.


At close to the crest of the ridge on a road out of Lenox and past Tanglewood, it reaches a peak then the road moves down the other side of the ridge to West Stockbridge ( that is unless you go straight and end up in Richmond. The road is a shortcut for those coming in from New York and heading for Tanglewood or Lenox.




It gets confusing sometime where you are. Lenox Mountain seems very much to be the same ridge structure as Richmond Mountain. It really depends on which direction you are coming from.

For some contrast, here is the same view in the summer.

So if you are heading to Olivia's Overlook enjoy the view and the walk in the woods. But don't miss out on some of the other great views as well.

This one is just down the mountain and past Tanglewood and called Gould Meadows, also part of a land trust and includes trails that go down to Stockbridge Bowl.