there for but the grace of God, is me

We all have our reasons for doing something or not, of being a certain way or not, of connecting present situations and experiences, or not.

There is something that is very much to the core of me in the subject line. It frames the way I am on many days, the way I interact with people at work, the way I think spiritually and about my community and even the way I think of my politics.

I feel I can divulge some of this here because certainly this is not main stream media or a high traffic site. Sort of like, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound?

I have been blessed with many things throughout my life, a loving family and parents who were happily married 60+ years; and while we were far from well off, I knew we were also far from poor. I have had the opportunities of education and travel that it has taken my adult perspective to really appreciate. I have had employment that has provided the resources for me and my family to do things that many can't even consider. I am blessed with a life partner and exceptional children and a home life that is blessed in many ways. I work for and with people who care equally for those who it serves and and those who serve.

While we are shaped by many of the things I have mentioned, I believe we are also shaped by the hardships and bad experiences that come our way. It is not only on how we come out of them that is important, but also the lessons we carry from those experiences. Some of these experiences we can work with an some we can not.

My loss of a sibling when I was but a child had a profound effect on me in a way that I am repeated challenged to this day. But it is who I am.

I know that as a manager I am exceptionally good at working with people who are good at what they do but may need to be transitioned to another job or who are a challenge for others to manage. I know that a good amount of this is internal wiring, but another good share is from how poorly I was treated by managers who were brutal and demeaning and who had options to make more humane choices, but didn't. I vowed long ago, that this would never be me as a manager, that given the choice, retaining as much of someone's dignity as possible, was a moral responsibility.

Many years ago I had a health incident that I was truly lucky to recover from let alone go on to function at the level I have. I knew of someone who, at the same time, had a similar incident and was the same age as me and did not survive. What is physically left of that incident is only evident to me and certain specialists. It had taken me a long time to deal with these shadows of my past and how I now l have learned to deal with them is I run. Through this experience, as with others, I learned much, was also pretty dense and needed to be reminded of what I learned and have occasionally needed a self inflicted 2x4 to remind me of how lucky I was and am. And through this and in working with elderly parents with health issue, I learned to be very comfortable within the health care system. A knowledge that I freely share and has recently tapped a spiritual outlet for me.

So, as I remind myself repeatedly, we either let our past experiences shape who we are and how we come at life, or we use these experiences as tools to continually shape our lives and our perspectives and outlook. We are a work in process until the end.