So a little rant here that may not stay up for long but I can get it off me for a bit.
A couple very strange things have happened to me over the last couple of weeks. I sat in a meeting last week called because of the ongoing crisis of the week and as the meeting proceeded I and the job I do was being talked about as if i wasn't even in the room. Bizarre beyond the least and a little unnerving. How can people be as insensitive and totally clueless. I was so taken aback that I didn't know even how to respond and I think the person leading the meeting, well I won't say what I think about that person but my perspective of where I fit in or if, has changed dramatically. There is a follow up meeting Monday, oh joy.

The week before I was traveling home on a very very rainy night. Driving at the speed of the regular traffic in the passing lane when the car did a 180 bounced against the center guardrail and then did a reverse 180. I think I was stopped but I quickly engaged and pushed on the gas and moved forward fine. I realized that while things were thrown all over the car the air bags were still unengaged and as I built up speed the car could drive fine.  I had no idea what the outside of the car looked like and assumed that it was near totaled from the hit and couldn't understand how it could still ride. I moved over to the lane and straddled the breakdown lane for miles not knowing if the car would break down any minute. It didn't. Finally getting out at a pull-off several miles later in the continuing downpour I see that there is a big bumper scrape on the front and one on the back and the back trunk panel banged in a little and that was about it. Obviously I had hydroplaned through this whole movement but the car was basically fine as was I. Needless to say I was rattled and all sorts of thoughts ran through my mind such as, if that guardrail hadn't been there I'd probably be upside down in the center ditch, do I report my self to the cops in case someone who saw this call them. Do I call the insurance company? The rest of the ride home was surreal.

I just came home and did nothing, said nothing, banged the trunk panel out mostly and cleaned the mess in the car.  

So when you have an even like I did driving and then have to go through what I described at the beginning, some life realities and what is really important start to seep in.

Time for some changes.