Tuesday, June 5, 2012

systems overload

It has been an overload past few weeks and I still feel like I am on that delicate balance between overload and totally fried. The week before last it was the floor refinishing and last week it was senior day followed the next day by prom the a day in between and then graduation. A lot going on. Throw into the mix a tree partially falling down in the backyard and hanging against a main tree mid center of the yard. It had been leaning but the big wind and rain last week was too much for it. But to keep it not so simple, we have a graduation party coming up next weekend using of course the back yard and in order to get a machine back there I had to star taking down the wooden swing set / structure but can't put it someplace permanent until I know which direction around the house the machine can come, so it sits in large pieces on the lawn. And did I mention that I am at the vortex or a division restructuring / reorganization at work that I am facilitating but not-because I am delegating much of what I have been doing the past 10 years, and while no one clearly knows the outcome,  I am expected to figure out how to implement a vaguely defined but graphically visual [only to the head person] of what the outcome is to achieve and on even more center stage I am coaching and tempering personalities in a major 2 year software implementation that hit one of it's major peaks this past month all the while also having to field and negotiate a major contract negotiation that has been rushed to a crowded forefront in the past month.

So, it is that seemingly run on stream of consciousness that is me at the moment. A seeming blur in the mind that reminds me of playing an old game of Asteroids where the object is to knock off the incoming asteroids before they knock off you. 

It may seem like I am complaining, but I am really not. The tree and the house stuff are annoying and complicate things and the work stuff is stressful because of its lack of clarity and direction and while I often deal ok with that, this has been going on for over a year and I am just tired and I dream more and more of hat winning lottery ticket.

But the family stuff is wonderful and I am trying to soak it in. I think life is crazy at time for most of us. It just sometimes ramps up and things collide more than usual. I had someone look at me today and say that I seem to be disappearing before their eyes.  It was a compliment of sorts. To control all of what is going on, I've increased the running miles which usually translates into a little more fat coming off.I still have plenty to spare so they is no concern over me fading away.


Anonymous said...

When it rains, it pours. And...that is why your doing the job your doing...they know you can handle it and handle it well and on time. Aaaah, the house stuff is just a little challange for ya' - To help keep you on your toes and to balance out what's going on at work!! good luck and happy graduation party!! ...debbie

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Thanks....the party went off well. Work continues to be a challenge primarily because of no direction from the top. While I am usually ok with setting my own direction and usually, I do resent at times that this is not even acknowledged.