How many false starts does it take to make a post? Depends on the moment, depends on the mood, depends on lots of things. I have several posts that started out fine but couldn't fine an end. I kept adding and adding until it became like a blender out of control. Ideas flying everywhere, I mess that was a challenge to figure out where to start to clean it up. So one of the wonderful things about blog-land is the ability to just let a post linger in "draft-status" until the mood comes back or maybe not.

There is a saying that still waters run deep and I frequently return to that phrase to understand it and to understand me. Like most people I can be a plate full of contradictions. I can be someone who frets over the simplest of things or apparent slight, who can be luck the character in the Peanut's strip who wears the worry blanket and can lay out every possibility of what can go wrong and remember what did.



Then there is the almost opposite, complete calm and reason. Articulate and measured tones and a total stillness and calm that radiates from within. At times be a most disorganized sort with piles and lists and multiple projects going; but there are the times when my focus is like a laser and it even freaks out my kids when they see this organized driven side.

At this time I am in one of the contradictory states. Exhausted for many reasons and not all that are obvious; pensive about the transitions of time; confused by the lack clarity and inconsistency by others. The calm that I have always relied on is still very much there, anchoring, perhaps holding back, protecting. While on the surface there is this churning - the blender of sorts. Not that messy but weighing just the same.

So that is where this post ends. Very much like life goes on. Some things stay consistent, others drop away. New things and challenges come up, while others seem to resolve themselves over time.