I started writing a post awhile ago and while the concept is very intuitive to me and I could see it so clearly in my mind's eye, putting it to keyboard led to a the back story that could go on for pages.
No, there is nothing bad going on, only continued gratitude for many things; appreciated even more when I see the potentially crushing experiences of others that, for the grace of god, could have been me.
I have often thought that I am a better manager, a better boss, a better leader because of the brutal way I was downsized from a job many year ago after almost a decade of service and because of the boss who would scream at me irrationally in the hallways. I am the person you want to give a talented person who needs coaching because their interpersonal skills suck and will be fired if they don't improve, or to work with someone through a transition or who may require downsizing but you want to retain. By no means a pushover, my past has taught me patience and tenacity. While I have had more than my share of bitter experiences, I have also benefited from many kindnesses and blessed my some remarkable coincidences. Such kindnesses deserve to be shared and passed on.
I am intolerant of abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, verbal, fraudulent) having been witness to the experience and the effects, which can make me formidable at times. When I was having a discussion with a colleague this week about a difficulty I was having with a situation I had been brought into but could not control, she was not surprised by my response because she said she had always seen me as a person of honor and she had always seen me finding the honorable path though tough situations. The description surprised me. Was I that transparent?
I have for a while followed on-line, a person who has an adult child who suffered a severe injury and whose lives (the child and parent) has been forever changed. Though I have never met these people, I feel I have been called to offer what ever moral support I can give and did so for several years. I also use my years of navigating health care systems to see if there is anything that could lighten the burden and journey. The spooky thing is that I don't know how that call came to me, it just did.
Why am I connected? I think they are surprised as well, though I am far from alone in my support. I can only think that at the core is that 20 years ago I was admitted to a big city ICU with something very scary and sudden and while it took months to recover and I still have slight remnants noticed only by me. But for the grace of God I my incident didn't go another slight way or me and my family would have been coping with a situation similar to this parent and child.
I learned much through the healing process about myself and spirituality. I continued to learn a lot about spirituality and maneuvering the medical world not only with myself but with elderly parents. Why not share what I have gained? What a waste it would be for the lessons of my journey to be not shared when they might help someone else on a similar journey.
So many kindnesses have I experienced though out my life in the midst of crisis. Why would one not respect those kindnesses by sharing them. It seems like it would be such a waste to not.
I got a phone message from someone today who had been out of work for a while. When we spoke a month or so back, she was discouraged and not sure what direction to take. The idea of a modern job search was totally foreign. While on the phone a I started doing some on-line research and started tossing out leads and suggestions and sharing the places I look when I need to hire someone and I followed up with some emails of support and encouragement. The message today was celebrating a new job that came from one of those suggestions and leads.
To that I thank the many people who helped me with ideas and leads and support when I was out of work and finding my way.
So, I have done a page here and I am not sure it is clear to anyone what I mean or still so abstract that even I don't follow it.
When I think I have it tough I remember the times that were worse. I remember how things could have been much worse. I remember the coincidences, the kindnesses that only now I can appreciate and I try to continue to feed positive Karma.
Positive energy is only positive when it continues to be shared.