It's been a full moon the past week. Big and bright and it rises over the ridge to the east and gradually settles into and crosses the sky in the night. Often it has set by the time I get up, leaving the predawn sky bright with stars.
It is also getting cold. The pellet stove on just about every night now and I have started my seasonal ritual of hoisting a 40 bag and hauling it into the house before picking up my book and usually nodding out. Fortunately I get a couple of hours of audio reading during my daily commute to keep the book list under control, but the act of picking up a book at 9:30 having been up a close to 5 in the morning usually isn't a good combination for anything other than a nod-off.
I am in the process of downloading a book "13 things (in science) that don't make sense" and this along with a half a dozen of so podcasts will keep me plugged in to the reading world, at least audio wise, for the next week.
I have been somewhat delinquent in the blog, email social media area. Electronic media can be great, but at least for me, it can be too much at times and while the information comes in, I am sometimes so bombarded that I can't get it out. That is especially true when work issues weigh and even lunch and early morning is consumed by issues and thoughts. Of course I don't do my self any favors by having 6 email accounts and facebook and this blog. All of which I can easily juggle at certain times. I have been festering over a career decision the past couple weeks. At first I wrote the word struggle, but then determined that the activity was not active enough to be considered that. But it weighs and it will be a matter of a decision or a decision by means of inaction, which seems to be the direction it is going.
I am also juggling the question of "volunteer involvement" which I know I am not alone. Sometimes it seems that so many want just a piece of you that it can consume the pieces that are left. Then I feel resentful and even more buried.
So I have been more an more active about saying "no" or defining very clearly how much I can reasonably do and then I have to work on the internal guilt.
Well in the theme of dash and run, I hit the post button and clamor to get dressed and dash for another day.
2 comments:
Ahh, the internal guilt. Been feeling it for years. I too have been stretched waaay to thin in life because of my inability to say no. I learned a while ago that you have to take care of you and yours first and then give what you can of what little free time you end up with. Once you begin to say no to some things it becomes easier. Then you are able to truly commit to volunteering to the causes close to your heart.
Many people don't recognize that inaction is a form of action, so you are ahead on that front. Peaceful thoughts on what ever is working at you.
I agree with the comment above. Pare back until it feels right. Often places where we volunteer begin to place more and more demands until we say enough.
Brian
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