We all have varying degrees of stress that we function under (or not) and I am by no means exempt. There is work stress and there is home stress and even with these distinctions, there is a further one of crisis versus non crisis. How I handle it has changed greatly over the years and for the past few years running has been a healthy way for me to manage this. It clears my head somewhat, burns off some of the built up adrenalin and at least adds some endorphins to the mix. And I am training myself to stay away from food, aka feeding the stress. Who says you can't teach an old dog.

In the work environment I am a relatively cool (in the sense of moderating, calm, measured). I am one of those people who has a long fuse and can sit with a person or people and sort out muck and negotiate through disharmony. But then there are times that it just comes at me and I find myself at a loss and it eats at me emotionally and physically.

Yesterday was such an event. Of course, I can't write specifics, but let me leave it at that is about managing people and their response to reflective, balanced, honest, objective assessment of behavior. A response that is a torrent of distortion, accusation, deflection and being do surgical in presenting situations, that truth can be found, where in the entirety there is none. It is rare that such a response brings me to the point of literally shaking with rage (and it had been a few hours since I'd had caffeine) and knowing professionally that a response from me (especially from a place of rage) would be counterproductive. Even after a mile power walk and handing this off to a coworker to validate by response, the shaking was gone but the anger is still there.......even the next morning.

I like managing people, most of the time. I have the temperament for it, I have been told by people that I am excellent at helping them through tough patches and very supportive and then periodically you run up against someone with whom no matter what you do it is not enough and it is not the right thing. They want you to fix their problem not help them fix it (as they are clueless as to how to) and if you don't know how to fix it, you are at fault. In this situation, I will acknowledge receipt and nothing more.

It is these experiences that make me want to throw my hands up and walk away, though practically that is not possible. Good thing it is vacation and I see a 5 mile run in my future this morning.